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The Biggest Life Lesson I Learned in 2019

The greatest life lesson I learned last year is to not be scared to go for something you want. I guess there’s two lessons another one is to be authentic in everything you do. I’ll try to find a way to connect these things together because the two together will help me accomplish a lot of the goals I have this year.

Don’t Be Afraid to Go After What You Want

I basically learned this the hard way. To be completely transparent, it was through past relationships and me not being assertive enough to after what I wanted in a relationship and saw someone else get what I wanted in result.

I was complacent with what I had, and was afraid that being more aggressive would killed what I’ve already built up in a friendship. I truly cared for this person’s friendship, so me thinking more passive was a mistake for thinking long-term. That was mistake because even though I still have that friendship, I don’t know, and I don’t think I’ll ever know what would happen if I tried to take that relationship to another level. In my head I was thinking, would trying this hard risk my friendship? Now that I’m reflecting on it, I’ve realize that the friendship was never really in jeopardy, as long as my intentions were coming from the right place.

Be Genuine in Your Actions

The only action, reaction, emotion, or inaction I can control is my own. It doesn’t really matter what I do because different people are going to react in different ways. The only thing I can make sure is that my actions come from a good place. This is why I regret my earlier decision of not being more aggressive in pursuing that relationship.

This doesn’t just stop at relationships though. These lessons (or conjoined lesson) as to be with me with everything that I do. I shouldn’t stop doing what I feel is good for myself or others just because someone could be offended. Why? Because in some alternative reality, they could have easily been grateful. I can’t be afraid to do what I need to do because someone else may not like it.

Attachment is something I also have to get rid of. I also cannot be attached to what I have if I feel like taking an action to come with great benefit. Believe in myself. I have to be confident enough to believe that my hopeful outcome will come true, but if it doesn’t… well it doesn’t. If that meant I’d lose a friend, I’d be sad, but I’d have to know without knowing at all.

I can’t really dwell in the past. The future is where I look towards. A future in which I’ll learn from the past mistakes and see what I can make of it. This is why we make mistakes. We make them to learn. I’m only grateful for the lessons of the past and look forward learning some new lessons in the future.