There’s a misconception that we should be liked by everyone we come across. The issue with this line of thinking is that everyone is different, so being well-liked by everyone is impossible task. We still try by pandering to one another, laughing at jokes when they aren’t funny, and agreeing to one’s opinion when you know it’s incorrect. For many, the approval of others becomes our main task. Investing in what others think about you comes with consequences.
When we constantly look for confirmation from others, we are actually seeking external validation. It comes with seeking a sense of worth from others, which typically means there is self-doubt. You may see it in a partner, or a co-worker who tries to optimize his/her positive feedback, while trying to eliminate negative. They’ll basically do anything you want them to do. The issue with this way of thinking is that you defer your own self to what the other person is thinking. This means you aren’t your own person, just what others perceive you as.
Your personality is dead. Your opportunities die along with you because you’re too worried of what other people will think. You don’t want to go live on Instagram, or do that YouTube video because you are afraid of the judgment that comes along with it. We sacrifice our goals and dreams just because we are afraid of what the next person thinks. If you describe yourself as socially anxious, it might be from the need to increase validation. The more you care about how others react to you, the more social discontent you are.
The Most Loved Are Also the Most Hated
The worst part of worrying about someone perceives you is that it’s impossible to make everyone happy. Just look at the most liked people in history. You will also see that they are the most hated. Name a person; Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Jesus. All were well loved, all were also assassinated. You may not liked being disliked, but being disliked might just prove that you are doing something worthwhile.
Your True Self
Let’s talk about the benefits of being an individual. Being yourself means you are developing a strong identity that can never be broken by any occupation, or new relationship. When you don’t allow yourself to be yourself, people are befriending a false self. No one will know the real you under the disguise. Conversely, showing your authentic self gives people the opportunity to accept you for who you are. These are your true friends.