Loneliness can be much more than just being alone. I honestly think it is okay to be alone. It’s another thing to be lonely. One can be lonely in a room full of people. With the advancement of the Internet and social media, we are supposed to be as connected as connected can be. Yet, bouts of anxiety and depression still continue to be on the rise. That alone tells me that it’s much more than being around people.
No, I don’t believe sheltering in place for almost 2 years during a global pandemic has made us lonely. I believe the emotional disconnection that has been spreading for the past several years is more the case. Our experience during the Covid-19 epidemic only amplified it. I think the reason for this disconnection is due to the disconnection we’ve had with ourselves over the years. We cannot connect with others if we can’t bring our full selves to the relationship. Too often, we wear a mask of what other people expect or what other people want us to be. People don’t get to know our true selves, but this character. Our true selves feels like there is no love because of the lie.
Showing this false side of you because others find you enjoyable means that you won’t be willing to be vulnerable. You are not going to confide in the people you lie to. There will be no sharing of struggles, as we pretend that our triumphs are somehow infinite. We’d be too afraid to share our failures because we’d be too caught up in what others may think. If we believe that people like us for our lie, the more we feel like we have to live up to the fallacy. The more you live the fallacy, the more your true self hides in the corner.
Why Do We Lie to Ourselves and Others
One reason why we put on this mask is because we feel the need to be perfect. It becomes a struggle because perfection is impossible for us humans. We were built to make mistakes, yet we see mistakes as a bad thing. We wear makeup or hide, our scares because imperfection is a bad thing. When try to break away from the things we don’t want other to know, we consider them flaws in our character. These flaws make us who we are, and that’s okay.
The other reason is something I can use some help with. It’s thinking that I don’t need help. I actually thought that this was a good trait. I was quite independent being the only boy in a household full of women. Many times I depended on myself to get to school and home from school. I also took the bus to work, and use that money from work to pay for everything that I had once I reached that age. As I get older, I’m starting to realize how we are all interdependent. It’s okay to reach out for help. Sometimes we put up this facade that we are strong on our own. This should make us respectable. It’s not the truth. If I don’t allow others to help me, it’ll feel lonely. Even if I try to pass myself off as an independent person “who don’t need no man. “
How to Be Accepted for Your Authentic Self
It might be true that we were all taught to be likable. Even if it means losing pieces of ourselves to do it. I think wearing a mask serves a purpose in the short-term. It makes you a friendly person to meet. However, in the long-run, that mask might be hard to take off. You might be looking like Jim Carrey trying to take the mask off.
You will never be truly valued unless you present your true self. People will like you for something you’re not, which we know, doesn’t cure loneliness. It’s best to express your true self, knowing that you might set yourself up for rejection. Rejection just means that the relationship wasn’t meant to be. You’re honestly saving yourself from more heartache. Not everyone needs to like you. Just because some people don’t, it doesn’t make you a terrible person either. We say that it’s important to make connections and relationships, but that’s only half of the equation. It’s important to make GENUINE connections and relationships. This is how we thrive socially.