Projection is the way of the world, but what if we can use that to our advantage? We’ve always heard that before we can love others and it’s true. I want to go a bit further in saying that if you don’t believe that you are worthy of love or if you don’t think you are perfect, the hatred you have for yourself will be projected onto other people.
Loving oneself is more than just running a bath for yourself. It’s a lifelong practice that is not only beneficial for you but will prove beneficial to all. Loving yourself is understanding yourself. It is knowing the self. When you know who you are in your perfection, you can project that perfection onto others and see them for who they are. With this knowledge of self, no one can hurt you. No annoyance or irritation should take you away from your identity of love. It also means that rejection doesn’t end your love.
When we don’t love ourselves, we tend to be critical of ourselves. We tend to believe that we are not enough. To fulfill that hole in our hearts, we start looking for things in the world. Looking for love in all the wrong places is more than just the song. I’m not sure if it gets to the point of where the right place is, but it’s you. Instead, we would rather see the flaws in ourselves and overcompensate in the world, we point out the flaws of others. We also find it hard to maintain relationships because of the anxiety and overwhelming feelings of not being secure in who we are.
We are connected beings so the advice around love that you receive in this book should also apply to you as well. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love others? If you don’t love others, how can you love yourself? The golden rule is to love others as you love yourself, but if you don’t love yourself, the rest is not possible.
I’m sure you’ve heard the term snitch before. if you have not, a snitch is someone guilty of a crime. For this person to reduce their sentence, this person is willing to blame someone else for an even greater crime. The census sentiment of snitches is that we don’t like them. “Snitches get stitches.” What if I told you we are all snitches? Instead of dealing with our guilt, we typically place the blame on someone else. It’s consistent behavior for someone who doesn’t love themselves. If we love ourselves, we see ourselves as perfect which allows us to see others as perfect. An innocent person never blames another innocent.
Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest things we can do. It also happens to be the most rewarding. It may be the single thing that will set us up for success when it comes to our connection to other people. Love is not a thing that should come with sacrifice. You shouldn’t seek validation from someone else, especially if it leaves you empty in case you don’t receive love in return.
Even though we are talking about how self-love rubs on the people around us, we still may be cautious of giving ourselves love because it sounds selfish. It does have benefits for us. Let’s not be coy about that. It gives us greater confidence in any of our circumstances with the power to change what we don’t see fit. When we love ourselves we know that our love, happiness, and peace aren’t dependent on any circumstance or any person for that matter. It means we are comfortable with being alone and confident in any situation we are thrown into. All we have to do is remember who we are.