a couple frowning while sitting at a couch

How to Know When to Leave a Toxic Relationship

The hardest part of love is knowing when to give up on it. Not because you don’t love the person, but you’re not receiving any love in return. In some cases, love doesn’t end in a fairy tale. We fall in love, we get hurt. Some people leave the relationship. Others stay in hopes that it’ll change. They are deeply in love, but continue to get hurt. You’d think it would be easy to leave a relationship that has turned to selfishness, greed, or even physically dangerous. Truth is we need love and that need for love can turn into an addiction. Relationships have its ups and downs. I’m not talking about bouncing out of the downs, but when a relationship consistently takes away your joy, it’s time to reevaluate.

Clear Signs it’s Time to Leave

Some signs are clearer than others. Physical and emotional abuse are clear signs that you should leave the relationship. You can add infidelity and lying to that list. Sometimes, leaving is just a feeling that you can describe, but intuitively know. It may be being together with that other person, but constantly feeling alone, or feeling emotionally and intimately distant.

The biggest reason why you shouldn’t continue a relationship is if you feel like it needs to be maintained. If you’re not thriving, if love doesn’t exist, or you feel like you going through the motions due to nothing more than habit. It’s probably not a good relationship to be in. I totally understand that there are situations in which it may be difficult to leave a relationship. If you do feel this way, there’s no one standing in your way, but you.

When Leaving Feels Just as Bad as Staying

Leaving any relationship could be a difficult thing to do. Leaving a bad relationship doesn’t make it any easier. It takes a lot of grit to endure a bad relationship. A different type of grit is needed to leave. Instead of looking at the relationship from an external lens, it’s probably time to be a little bit selfish and look inward. This way you can intuitively know that the relationship isn’t one for you.

One thing you can do is be present. It’s easy to reminisce about the past, or be hopeful for a great future. If you’re not enjoying your present situation, the past and the present don’t exist. Fully experience the relationship without a need to change it. If you’re not feeling how it is playing out, the first thing to do is to acknowledge these changes with your partner. If your partner is not willing to come to an agreement on these changes, it’s time to leave.

Another thing to do is listen to your body. You’re body will tell you everything you need to know about your partner. If you flinch when they raise a hand, there’s an issue. If you cringe to the sound of their name, you’re not in the best relationship for you. Look at the way you look when you see that person. Are you happy? If you’re sad or angry, it’s very telling.

In summary, what I’m trying to say is if the relationship feels bad to you, then it’s bad for you. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t try to recover from the hard times. A good relationship is worth fighting for. Another characteristic of a good relationship is that they recover from hard times. If you hard time feels more like a hard era, it may be time to leave the relationship. Never feel like you’ve given up. You’re prioritizing your sanity, and your livelihood over someone who doesn’t truly love you. If you stay, you’d be giving up on yourself.