If you think confidence was a trait that was given to you at birth, you couldn’t be more wrong. If that fact hurt your self-esteem, I’m terribly sorry. There’s hope. Confidence is actually a skill that you develop, not necessarily something you’re born with.

It’s no different if we go to the opposite end of the spectrum. Just like you can gain confidence, you can also lose confidence. When you swipe right on that special someone, match, but never get a response. When you have an idea at work, but people laugh at it to say that is probably something that couldn’t be done. When all your friends are at the beach, but you’re the only one not willing to let go of your t-shirt. All of these things can reduce confidence.

When these things happen, we have an inner battle with our mind telling us that we simply aren’t good enough. We aren’t good enough to find a spouse, or get our ideas implemented. This drains our confidence battery. Here I’ll tell you some steps you can use to charge back up.

Visualize the Future You, Now

It’s not enough to wish you were someone else in the future. You have to embody your future self now. This is not an overnight change, so if you are going to increase confidence, you might as well start now. When we are low in self-confidence our perception of ourselves tends to dimension. That perception isn’t true. Your true self starts now.

Give Yourself Daily Affirmations

When we have low self-confidence, we tend to belittle ourselves. We tell ourselves things we would never tell another human being. Why put yourself down if you’d never do that to a friend?

Instead, give yourself positive blessings and uplifting statements on a daily basis. When we are low in confidence we tend to pinpoint the negative. Instead, try finding something about yourself that you admire and look towards that while trying to better your weaknesses.

Question What Your Mind Says About You

Your mind is your biggest critic. Think I’m lying? I’m sure your mind went through a bunch of negative notions while reading this article. The problem with your mind is that it could be the biggest liar you know. Yes less trustworthy than your ex. When your mind tries to feed you negativity, question if it’s even true. If you come out of a meeting thinking you are a failure, ask yourself, what is the evidence that shows your a complete failure? Chances are people just didn’t like the idea. Nothing more.

Set Yourself Up for Success

Sometimes we don’t succeed because we set our goals way to high. If you’re 60 pounds overweight, having a goal to lose it all before Coachella isn’t attainable. Once We don’t meet our long-winded goal then we put ourselves down even further.

Instead don’t create goals… You might be saying, “Wait, what?” The goals that we create aren’t things we can control most of the time. For instance, losing weight sometimes isn’t in our control. There could be genetic dispositions that would hinder us from getting to our ideal weight. Instead, create habits that have the goal as an output of your new habit. What I’m saying is, don’t worry about losing weight, but create a mindset of eating well and exercising, without worrying about losing weight. Losing weight will automatically become the byproduct of your newly formed habits.

Focus on Others More Than Yourself

This is my last piece of advice and will serve as the conclusion to gaining confidence. It’s easy to see why. When you put your attention towards other people, less attention goes towards you. Your mind is focused on how you can positively impact another person, rather than how to negatively put you down. The gratitude you receive in helping others will also give you a boost in confidence. So instead of worrying about yourself, maybe volunteer at a homeless shelter, or teach your fellow coworkers who are struggling, or find a friend in need of your compassion.