There is a divide between people who believe they can do everything better than anyone and those who believe they are not enough.

The idea that every event, including thoughts, feelings, and actions, is an inevitable result of preceding causes can be unsettling for most people. One of the significant anxieties associated with this mode of thinking is the loss of one’s own will and autonomy. If our “choices” are already determined by our genes, our environment, and…

Our sense of determinism comes from a deep need to bring order to a chaotic world. This predictability gives us the promise of control in the sense that if we can control the causes of things, we can influence the outcomes to our benefit.

Our lives become an endless improvement project, and then we die. This belief is not the life that I would like to live.

Before the reframing of this word, perfection was seen as total, regardless of whether anything was good or evil, rich or poor, and sick or healthy. Everything belonged.

We fear what we don’t know, so to provide comfort, we wrap ourselves in stories such as ‘everything happens for a reason.’

Two things help maintain and grow relationships: honesty and vulnerability. If we are not honest about our unhappiness with others, we cannot build deep connections because most relationships are built on the lie that everything has to be good all the time. We’ve even given union in grief a bad name by calling it trauma…

When discussing regional or company culture, we often refer to whether we share the same views as those around us. As a result, we learn what’s good and bad based on rewards and punishments through the media, as well as different religious traditions and national identities.

We never question how we learn. We learn through a process of receiving information and then fixing what the teacher believes to be wrong.

In these systems, someone must be ahead and someone must be behind for the system to function properly. With this neat arrangement, we are promised order.