In some relationships, we don’t necessarily like how we are being treated. Then you do a Google search for quotes that say something like you treat others how you want to be treated. What does that really mean? Teaching someone how to treat you is a practice in setting boundaries. It’s letting someone know what is acceptable and what is not. This is not the same as being in an argument, or having a disagreement. Just because someone has a different opinion from you, doesn’t mean they are treating your wrong. Here are a few steps to make sure people treat you the way you’d like.

Know Yourself, Know Your Worth

You can’t expect people to treat you well if you don’t do the same for yourself. People learn how to treat you mostly by how you treat yourself. Being with self-awareness. How do you treat yourself? What is your value? What do you think you deserve? This is probably the only paragraph you need to read. You’ll have a hard time changing other people, but you can make an example that people can learn from.

Communicate the Rules

The biggest misconception in any relationship is believing that the other person should know how to treat you. In order for you two to be on the same page, the other person must know what you’re reading. It’s best to create these rules early and often. It’s also good to establish these rules when you are at your best emotionally. No other input should cloud your judgement on how you expect to be treated. Most people criticize, yell, or simply detach from he situation in order to communicate. Yelling, “You never listen to me!” is not communication. Instead express your emotions. It’s a time to be vulnerable about how you feel. We teach others how to treat us by identifying the need and then communicating it in a comprehensible way.

Be the Change You Want to See

You’ve heard of the golden rule, right? Treat others how you would like to be treated. That’s kind of it. If you want someone to treat you a certain way, you have to be the model citizen. Looking for love? Be more loving. If you want your employer to treat you with respect, be respectful. If you need someone to listen to you, first listen to them. When you start to see the change in the other person, start to reinforce it with appreciation. Thank you for listening.

Realistic Expectations

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are relationships. It’s probably going to take some time to get to a place where you feel comfortable with another person. It takes a lot of practice and patience. It is specially the case when people are very rigid in their own ways, or become defensive once you authentically tell your story. When you start setting boundaries, there comes a risk that people won’t stick around. At that point is about prioritizing your future rather than staying in a relationship that doesn’t serve you.