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Holding On to Strong Opinions Will Only Harm You
Not taking a position when it presents itself is very hard. I feel like we were taught to choose sides. You can only be Republican or Democrat, religious or atheist, good or bad. In an increasingly polarized world, we are constantly told to choose a side. We fail to realize that these positions that we take are for things that are made up. Nature doesn’t choose. The sun shines on the wicked and the righteous. Having a strong opinion instead harms us because we start to believe that our position is right and we start to demean the other side to the point of violence and death. All for something we’ve made up in our head.
The Conflict Within the Mind
We don’t realize it, but our strong opinions only bring stress. We have the stress of making sure that we are on the right side by building up our defenses against the opposition. Not only do we have a battle against other people, but we have a battle within ourselves. When take up a rigid perspective, we start to have what is called cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a physiological discomfort caused by holding conflicting beliefs. When confronted with opposing views are new information. You’d think we’d change our position in the face of new information, but after many battles within the mind, we typically stay stubborn to our dominant beliefs. The battle within and the battle without only leads to anxiety for the person who can easily let their opinion go.
The Conflict With Others
Have you had a conversation with someone who feels the need to defend their opinion at all costs? That was probably me if you argued with me a few years back. I know from experience that talking to a person who can’t even see the perspective of another person is exhausting. Their viewpoint is black and white with no wiggle room for grey. This person also may take offense to any viewpoint that you try to provide and will defend their point of view until death. Do you now see the battle that ensues?
This inflexibility will start to ruin relationships if you are not careful. Someone who has a rigid opinion of every topic is only saying that they are smarter than everyone else. Nobody likes a know-it-all. Empathy is also not an attribute to someone who holds strong positions. They are right and you are wrong. Even if that rightness harms another person’s well-being. The virtue of being correct is more important than anyone’s emotions. When someone can’t connect with another on an emotional basis, it becomes very difficult to form a relationship. We can be right all we want if we also enjoy being lonely. You do have your mind filled with opinions that can keep you company, I guess.
We are constant learners. A good amount of people would say that learning is just an accumulation of knowledge. For me, learning is the ability to take in another perspective. It’s not really about knowing facts as much as it is about being enlightened to a wider viewpoint. This is why we say that arguments aren’t a competition of right or wrong, but a way in which two different perspectives come together to learn from each other. I think that’s so much better than a fight.
FAQs
Why do people feel the need to take sides on every issue?
People often feel the need to take sides because society teaches us to categorize everything into binary opposites, like good vs. bad or Republican vs. Democrat. This polarization creates a sense of belonging or identity within a group. However, this need to choose sides can prevent us from seeing the complexity of issues and can lead to rigid thinking, which often causes unnecessary conflict.
How does holding strong opinions affect our mental health?
Holding strong opinions can lead to stress and anxiety, especially when we feel the need to constantly defend our stance. This creates internal conflict known as cognitive dissonance, where we experience discomfort when new information challenges our beliefs. Instead of being open to change, we often become more entrenched, leading to increased tension both within ourselves and in our interactions with others.
What is cognitive dissonance, and how does it relate to strong opinions?
Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort that arises when we hold conflicting beliefs or are presented with new information that contradicts our current views. When we hold strong opinions, we often experience cognitive dissonance because we have difficulty accepting information that challenges our beliefs. Rather than adjusting our opinions, we tend to become more rigid, which can lead to further stress and strain on our mental well-being.
Why do strong opinions cause conflict with others?
Strong opinions often cause conflict because they limit our ability to empathize with others. When we are inflexible in our views, we may dismiss or devalue perspectives that differ from our own. This can lead to heated debates where the goal is to “win” rather than understand. Over time, this rigid thinking can erode relationships, as people feel unheard or disrespected when their views are not considered.
How can we avoid becoming too rigid in our beliefs?
To avoid rigidity, it’s important to stay open-minded and willing to learn from others. Rather than approaching conversations as battles to win, we can view them as opportunities to expand our perspectives. Listening to others without immediately forming judgments helps us remain flexible and adaptable. Being comfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity also allows us to explore different viewpoints without feeling threatened.
Is it possible to have opinions without causing conflict?
Yes, it’s possible to hold opinions without causing conflict by practicing empathy, active listening, and respect for others’ views. Instead of pushing our opinions forcefully, we can express them in a way that invites dialogue and understanding. Acknowledging that our perspective is not the only one and being open to change helps create healthier, more productive conversations.
Why do people become defensive about their opinions?
People become defensive about their opinions because they often tie their identity to their beliefs. When someone challenges an opinion, it can feel like a personal attack. This defensiveness is a way to protect the ego and avoid the discomfort of being wrong. Unfortunately, this makes it harder to engage in meaningful conversations where differing views can be explored and understood.
How can strong opinions ruin relationships?
Strong opinions can ruin relationships when they lead to a lack of empathy and understanding. When someone refuses to consider other viewpoints, they create distance between themselves and others. Over time, this inflexibility can make it difficult to maintain emotional connections, as people feel undervalued or dismissed. The constant need to be “right” can drive a wedge between friends, family members, or partners
What role does empathy play in resolving conflicts around strong opinions?
Empathy plays a crucial role in resolving conflicts because it allows us to see situations from another person’s perspective. When we practice empathy, we prioritize understanding over winning an argument. This helps de-escalate tensions and fosters a more collaborative and respectful environment for discussion, making it easier to resolve conflicts peacefully and constructively.
Why do people resist changing their opinions, even when faced with new information?
People resist changing their opinions because admitting they were wrong can be uncomfortable and may feel like a threat to their self-esteem or identity. Cognitive dissonance plays a role here—people prefer to stick with their existing beliefs rather than face the discomfort of reevaluating their stance. In many cases, it’s easier to double down on an opinion than to embrace new perspectives.
How can we learn from others instead of fighting over opinions?
We can learn from others by approaching conversations with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Instead of focusing on proving a point, we can ask questions and listen to understand the reasoning behind different perspectives. A mindset of growth and openness encourages learning, turning disagreements into opportunities for personal and mutual development rather than conflict.
How does polarization contribute to the feeling that we must choose sides?
Polarization amplifies the idea that we must choose sides because it simplifies complex issues into “either/or” scenarios. This binary thinking creates division, where people feel pressured to align with one group or another. It discourages nuance and middle ground, making it harder for individuals to embrace multiple perspectives or engage in constructive dialogue.
What are some ways to challenge polarization in our thinking?
Challenging polarization involves embracing ambiguity and seeking out diverse viewpoints. We can avoid black-and-white thinking by recognizing that most issues are complex and cannot be reduced to one right answer. Engaging with people who have different opinions, exploring multiple sides of an issue, and being open to changing our mind when presented with new evidence are all ways to counter polarization.
Why is it important to let go of the need to be “right”?
Letting go of the need to be “right” is important because it allows us to be more open to learning and personal growth. When we focus on being right, we close ourselves off to other perspectives and miss opportunities for deeper understanding. It also helps reduce stress and conflict, as we become more comfortable with the idea that different viewpoints can coexist without one being superior to the other.
How does letting go of strong opinions lead to inner peace?
Letting go of strong opinions leads to inner peace by reducing the mental and emotional tension that comes from defending rigid beliefs. When we become less attached to being right, we experience less cognitive dissonance and more acceptance of uncertainty. This mindset allows us to engage with the world more flexibly, fostering a sense of calm and contentment as we navigate different perspectives without feeling threatened.