Sometimes life happens to us. Most times we blame others for our misfortunes. The crazy thing about blaming others is that it’s basically a knee jerk reaction that’s become our default any time something goes wrong. The problem is we’re usually not aware of this. I believe someone said that life is 1% of what happens to and 99% of our we react to it. We don’t have any power to what happens to us, but how we react is always a choice.

We tend to blame others, whether it be people or circumstances, because we don’t want to acknowledge our part in the misfortune. It’s almost as if we are perfect and everything around us is flawed. Yeah, that just sounds crazy. Ego is a big part to why we don’t look within. We don’t have to be vulnerable. We can easily just blame traffic, the weather, the spouse, the coworker, the friend, or child. We can easily blame something or someone else, but what does that actually accomplish? How do you heal if you are consistently blaming something you h ave no control over.

Blaming others also gives us sympathy. This is another trick of the ego. It allows us to be the victim of the situation, without having to take accountability for our lives. We also don’t have to be courageous enough to look into our lives and see where we are at fault for what’s gone on so far. Some people live their life looking for their situation to change without changing themselves to leave the situation.

Looking Outside Yourself

When we look outside ourselves for the answers we miss our opportunity to heal. This past year has been a bit crazy for me. Things didn’t turn out how I wanted it to be. I could have blamed people for my misfortunes, but the first thing that I did was looking within myself to see what I did to cause myself to be in the situation I was in. If I blamed other people, I’d probably still feeling the way I felt 10 months ago. I don’t think I need to tell you what happened, but I can tell you that I’m better for it.

I wrote an article that promotes the idea that situations continue show up in a person’s life until he/she learns from it. If you feel like situations are repeating themselves even when you change your environment, it could be you that’s the issue. These situations are trying to get your attention. The best thing you can do is try to find out why things keep happening to you when you’re the common denominator. This isn’t an easy process. It’s a lot of shadow work that one has to go through to really get into the essence of the issue.

How to Go Within

If you are looking for answers go within. You are the only one with them. You may need help. there is no shame in therapy. You just need someone to ask you the same questions you’re afraid to ask yourself. Being radically responsible allows you to be more empowered that you can conquer your situation, not be a victim of it.