We live in a society where the loudest one becomes the most successful. There are plenty of blunt, impolite, and just plain rude people that we actually look up to.When we build relationships, we’re naturally drawn to people who are polite, modest, and agreeable. In other words, they are charming. Here are a few ways on how to be a charming person.
Be Genuinely Glad to Meet Another Person
When you meet other people, it’s important to be present with that person. Even if they happen to disagree with you. The fact that a person is spending time with you, and gets the opportunity to converse, gives them a sense of importance they may have not get while speaking alone. To be present, make sure you maintain eye contact. Read the cues in their expression, and almost mimic in solidarity to what they have to say. Smile when they smile. Frown when they frown. The emotional feedback loops fosters bonding.
Brene Brown is easily one of my favorite authors, so talking about vulnerability in this piece, should be a bit second nature for me. In most relationships, people show dominance by having an arbitrary pissing contest to show domination. A charming person doesn’t care about status. If there was a contest, the charming person has no problem losing. So if this happens to you, you can actively lose by being complementary. You may be even want to go opposite of that person by revealing a weakness.
A person of charm exudes confidence and isn’t afraid to show vulnerability. People are temporarily impressed by achievements, but they will always be impressed by someone’s charm. You shouldn’t mind telling stories about your mistakes. It’s okay to be the butt of a joke. Any objection to this is purely ego. Charmers are also not afraid to be in situations where their best isn’t shown. When your flaws are shown, people don’t laugh at you, they laugh with you.
Search for Agreements Instead of Disagreements
This is not the section where I say you should agree with everyone. Disagreements are healthy because it gives the platform for dialogue of different opinions. The problem starts to occur when both parties are married to their beliefs and actively seek out contrary statements rather than agreeing. Instead of actively looking for points to disagree, find the points of agreement. When deem necessary, share a different point of view, only to make the conversation interesting.
Use the Power of Touch
There’s a benefit to the natural touching of others. This can occur sexually and non-sexually, but we are going to talk about the non-sexual variety in this article. Touch influences behavior, increases compliances, and a friendly pat makes the person more friendly. People are able to feel the emotions of others without a single word said. Saying words with a corresponding touch may increase the power of those words.
Communication has to do with listening just much as it has to do with talking. The best type of communication is when you take all the emphasis off of you and onto the other person you are talking with. Ask them open ended questions and genuinely grow interest into what the person is saying. You can kind of gage how important this makes the other party feel.
Challenge yourself by saying less. A charming person already knows what he/she knows. You should want to get to know what the other person knows.