I’ve always thought the person who sought power was a predator. They sought power only to prey upon others with demands and entitlement. In truth, what lies behind a person who needs power is a frightened child.
They’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to survive in a hostile world is to dominate it.
What many don’t see is that power takes a lot of effort. To maintain the perception of power, one must live in a perpetual state of high alert. They are performing 24/7 to ensure their strong persona is maintained. This means never admitting to any mistakes.
Wearing a mask of power is exhausting because the power that requires maintenance rests on a foundation of nothing. To maintain energy, one must steal energy from one’s environment through control and manipulation.
After the day is finished, this person goes home exhausted, knowing they’ll have to put on the mask again the next day.
A person subjected to this type of information must prescribe a different perspective. What we call toxic behavior is actually a need for safety.
The person in power believes that if they are the person in the highest authority in the room, no one can hurt them. This is a misplaced yearning for safety.
A power-hungry person understands that safety is possible, yet puts their faith in human hierarchy.
Every act of dominance is a scream for peace. By seeing the coward beneath the crown, we dismantle the guilt. We no longer see it as toxic behavior, but a so-called monster just wanting to feel secure.
The World Can’t Bring Peace
The ego’s greatest fear is the loss of control. It is still very much unknown whether the very day you lose control is the day you actually start to live.
When we lose power, we aren’t being punished. We are being released from the maximum-security prison we mistook for a palace.
Instead, we believe that once we reach the next level of life, our anxiety will cease. My problems will end once I get that promotion.
What we are truly saying is that if I can control this outcome, this person, or this perception, I will finally find peace. That’s one way to think. Until this strategy inevitably fails.
People have felt the height of their power, and still find themselves trembling. The failure in this mistake isn’t a punishment, but the truth telling us that we are trying to find infinite peace in material things that have shelf lives.
As someone who’s trying to control every aspect of your life, maybe you aren’t seeking power. While the world saw you as successful or a tyrant, you were just trying to be a good person.
As a “good person,” you saw yourself as someone who is put together. Someone who is competent in what you do and is beyond reproach.
Being a good person is still a performance designed to earn love. The mask cracks when you lose your temper, fail to lead, or are exposed in your insecurities.
These cracks in the mask are not flaws of character, but an invitation to accept who you truly are.
When we no longer pretend to be powerful, we are finally free. When we stop trying to manufacture peace, we start to experience a peace that does not require us to be in charge of anything at all.
The Powerfully Insecure
From our mind’s perspective, the insecure person and the powerful person are two separate people. They are mortal enemies of each other. The insecure person is a shameful secret, and the powerful person is our heroic savior.
What if I were to tell you that they are the same person? The insecure perspective is the belief in lack, whereas the powerful perspective is the frantic reaction to lack. Both are reactive patterns.
To judge the powerful perspective as evil is no different than judging the insecure perspective as weak. Both are equally possible within the creation of every human being.
Yet, we still play the game of hierarchy. We are made to believe that if we aren’t the king in our situation, then we are the beggar. There’s only the perpetrator and the victim. Since no one wants to be the victim, we spend our lives perpetrating.
The best thing to do is to not participate at all. We don’t have to carry the burden of power because we recognize that the power was never ours to begin with.
When it comes to power dynamics, we don’t have to participate. We are free to leave the stage.
Questions and Responses
It certainly doesn’t feel that way when you’re on the receiving end, but beneath the surface, yes. When someone acts with entitlement or a need to dominate, they are usually operating from a deep-seated belief that the world is a hostile place. To them, being the highest authority in the room is the only way to ensure they can’t be hurt. It’s not “predatory” in the way we think; it’s a frantic, misplaced prayer for security.
Because it’s a 24/7 performance. To be “the powerful one,” you can never admit a mistake, never show weakness, and never stop performing. This requires a state of “high alert” that drains your internal battery. Since this version of power isn’t real, you have to “steal” energy from others through manipulation and control just to keep the mask from slipping. You go home exhausted because you’ve spent the day fighting a war against your own vulnerability.
Actually, it might be the first day you truly start to live. We often mistake our “control” for a palace, but it’s actually a maximum-security prison. When your plans fail or your “power” slips, you aren’t being punished. You’re being released. It’s an invitation to stop trying to manufacture peace through external circumstances and start finding it within yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with competence, but when we use the “Good Person” image as a shield, it becomes another mask. We try to be beyond reproach so that no one can judge or reject us. It’s a performance designed to earn love rather than simply accept it. The moment you fail or lose your temper isn’t a character flaw. It’s a crack in the armor that allows your true, authentic self to finally breathe.
They are two sides of the same coin. The insecure part of us believes we aren’t “enough” (the belief in lack), and the powerful part of us is the frantic reaction to that belief. We think we have to choose: be the King or the Beggar, the Predator or the Prey. But both roles are reactive and exhausting.
You stop participating in the game of hierarchy. You realize that you don’t need to be “in charge” to be safe. When you recognize that worldly power was never yours to begin with, and that you don’t need it to be whole, the burden drops. You’re no longer a victim of others, and you no longer need to be their master. You simply exist in a peace that doesn’t depend on your status.
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