Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Why Happy Endings Don’t Exist (And Why That’s Okay)

As narrators of our story, we also expect it to end with a happily ever after. This idea is what we are fed with just about all of our forms of media. At the end of the movie, the guy gets the girl, the superhero wins the day, or the broken becomes fixed. The idea of the fairy tale ending is not just what we see on screens but what we picture in our minds. It’s the very idea that if I do enough or be enough, I can get to where I want to be by the end of this arbitrary deadline that I’ve set for myself.

The end of this journey is indeed also arbitrary. We can’t completely define where our destination is. Is it a new job, a new spouse, or a new car? What happens if we don’t achieve the thing we set out to do with these things? Do we set out on another journey? We like to think our goals are logical, but the underlying reason for setting out on our paths is that we are seeking an emotional resolution that will finally allow us to rest.

What if I were to tell you that we don’t want things to go well? We want them to finish. With everything that we set out to do, we are only looking for closure. It’s the reason why we often feel bad after a relationship ends without explanation. We believe that unresolved pain is incomplete, and only a good ending can justify our struggle. So, instead of living in the moment, we wait for the moment that lets us know that the pain we endured was all worth it. What if this moment never comes?

The Costs of Happy Endings

It’s easy to see that waiting for the happy ending comes with costs. It creates an expectation of what our happy ending should be. What if our happy ending already came, but we missed it because we were looking for something “better”? Waiting for a happy ending postpones peace and makes us the sole proprietors of what that peace looks like. As a result, everything that we do requires a payoff or an outcome that we are supposed to be able to predict. And so we suffer, believing that at some point, the suffering is going to make sense. We endure meaningless jobs, waiting for the lesson, and tolerate manipulative behavior, expecting a transformation. The truth is that life is continuous. There’s no end to life. There’s no resolution to look forward to.

Demanding a happy ending gives us another false sense of control. By trying to predict a positive future, we allow our minds to cope with ambiguity. We try to make order out of chaos. Again, instead of going through the inevitable bouts of suffering as a normal aspect of human life, we try to negotiate with fate, saying that we will only go through this pain if it leads to something better. I will go through grief as long as it makes me a better person. This, too, is resistance. It’s resistance to the suffering that doesn’t come with a moral.

A Resolution for Injustice

A happy ending often comes in the form of retribution towards others. When we are hurt, we seek justice for those who harm us, and this is our conclusion. Look at the families that fall victim to the crime of murder. The only thing they want is for justice to be served so they can have closure on the entire ordeal. This perceived need for justice is often nothing more than a desire for revenge disguised as justice. When someone hurts us, we want them to regret it. If nothing happens to the other person, we feel cheated. And if nothing happens, we fall further into our suffering. Our expectation is “an eye for an eye.” If justice isn’t served, our story isn’t completed.

Nothing Ever Really Dies

As much as we hate to admit it, there are going to be times when the storybook ending doesn’t arrive. There are going to be times when the thing you worked so hard for falls apart. You are going to call someone, and that person will not answer. The clarity that we seek will never come. At this point, something in us breaks. This breaking is probably the best thing that can happen because, in this breaking, it is revealed that the story we are telling ourselves isn’t true. The deal we tried to break with life wasn’t agreed upon. Hopefully, at this point, we can gain the willingness to surrender to life as it is.

Happy endings aren’t real because nothing truly ends at all. Everything evolves. If we are going to tell our stories about ourselves, we should at least learn not to make them so finite. It’s best to break the illusion altogether. What if the outcome didn’t judge life, but by how we fully dance with life as we see things unfold? Instead of our lives being compared to a book, what if we compared them to the sky? An unending sky that sometimes has clouds and sometimes brings rain, but the awareness that all of these things last for but a time. Happy endings are comforting, but they aren’t real. What is real is right now. The breath that you are taking right now.

Questions and Responses

Why do we chase happy endings in life?

We pursue happy endings because we believe they’ll justify our struggles. It’s a way to make sense of our pain and gain emotional closure.

Is it unhealthy to expect a fairy tale ending?

Expecting a perfect conclusion can lead to prolonged suffering, as we delay peace, waiting for a moment that may never come.

What if life doesn’t give us closure?

Life often doesn’t tie up neatly. When we accept that, we free ourselves to live more fully in the moment instead of chasing false resolutions.

Can peace be found without achieving our goals?

Yes, peace is not the result of achievement but of presence. Letting go of the need for outcomes allows deeper contentment now.

How do we break the illusion of needing a happy ending?

By embracing life’s unpredictability and understanding that stories evolve without needing a final chapter to define their worth.


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