The definition of perfection that we’ve been taught is a lie. The root of the word perfection comes from the Latin perficere, which means to bring to completion. Other synonyms for perfection include maturity, fulfillment, and wholeness. Wholeness is the word I’d like to focus on. Before the reframing of this word, perfection was seen as total, regardless of whether anything was good or evil, rich or poor, and sick or healthy. Everything belonged. We know that this reframe is true because perfection in nature is not what we believe perfection to be. The perfect banana is ripe yet imperfect, with some flaws, such as brown spots. It’s not shiny and unblemished. The perfect moment at the beach under a sunset isn’t a performance. It just is.

Our culture has hijacked the term ‘perfection’ to make it an ideal rather than a reality. Based on how I was raised, we can put some of the onus on Western religion. I was taught that perfection was an ideal to strive for and that my lot in life was to pursue what was ultimately impossible. Instead of believing that I am perfect, I was taught to strive for perfection. As a result, I spent most of my time planning for the future rather than living in the present, knowing that I wasn’t enough. I had to reach a certain milestone to reach my arbitrary level of perfection.

Mainstream Christian Influence

Growing up as a Christian, I was taught that there was a separation between the perfect, transcendent God and the imperfect creation of humanity. This divide was taught through the guise of Original Sin, which separated the imperfect human from the perfect Creator. The Bible thus became a timeline of people trying and failing to reach and re-earn the perfection of their God. This was done through morals, laws, and rituals, which only created perpetual striving. Those who follow this religion are expected to continually strive to conform to external standards, thereby fostering a sense of humility and accountability.

If you were to ask me what the gospel is, I would say that it’s the truth that we are already perfect. There is no need for rules, authority, or even a death to acknowledge this. I believe this is what Jesus tried to convey to anyone who could listen. “Be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” However, our imperfection ruined the intentions of Jesus and created what was supposed to be freedom from shame and guilt into just another system. We’ve created a religious system based on Jesus’ freedom from systems, now known as atonement.

This system places perfection beyond the individual’s ability, requiring divine intervention. We are only perfect (saved) through grace, grace, salvation through Jesus’s sacrifice, or still the merit of good works. As a result, perfection is not something that is self-realized, but rather a divine gift given only through prescribed channels. It’s no different than the laws and rituals that preceded Jesus. The individual is still dependent on an external authority for closure, whether that be the crucifixion or the authority of a church or a pastor.

Only After Death

Mainstream Christianity also teaches that perfection is only reserved after death. It’s quite ironic when Jesus also says that the Kingdom of God is within us and around us. Still, the majority of pulpits will teach that people are imperfect and it’s only after death, via repentance, that one will be with God. This idea fosters long-term control, as perfection is something that is always out there in the future. The only way one can meet this goal is to maintain engagement with the religious system.

Enforced Authority

To believe that I am not enough gives rise to control from outside forces. The definition of what it means to be alive is now shaped by the commercials I see on television, the images I see on Instagram, and the narratives I encounter in the news. Perfection is no longer a state of wholeness but a curated aesthetic. You’re only perfect if you have the body and height of a supermodel, if you have an emotionally regulated personality, and your success trajectory is linear. With these superficial, materialistic goals, we’ve come to see perfection as something that is constantly pursued.

It’s not hard to see how our culture enforces this type of perfection. I’ve already noted that social media only shares our highlights. It’s almost like our social media feeds are perfectly curated only to show the good things that happen in our lives. I saw a person on LinkedIn share a test that claimed social media prioritizes positive news over negative news. He used it as evidence that we should only share positive news if we hope to reach a large audience. I didn’t see this as a good thing. The algorithms only reinforce the notion that good, and only good, equals perfection.

There’s a Product For That

We see our distorted definition of perfection in our capitalistic system. We pay to ensure we only see perfection. As a marketer, I’ve found that every product believes that it is the best product and that its product will make you better. Turn on the TV and be aware of how commercials exploit your insecurities and showcase how this one product can be the game-changer. Every product comes with the promise of being better while simultaneously suggesting that you are not enough. Imperfection is monetized through improvement.

Most products are sold in tiers. Whenever we opt for the highest tier of anything, we are making an ego-driven decision because we never really needed the basic package. Even when it comes to being a producer in this economy, value is only to those who are productive and polished. Any mistake, big or small, can tank your business. This message is driven into the minds of all employees at the company. Professionalism is perfection.

The redefinition of perfection has only caused problems. Now, more than ever, people are burned out. Work fulfillment is at an all-time low, with people experiencing chronic dissatisfaction. As we are more connected, we also see more cases of anxiety, which typically stems from hypervigilance around flaws. We don’t want to feel shame or guilt from our actions, so instead of making mistakes, we try our best to be perfect while hiding the mistakes when they eventually come. As a result, we police our own experience. We curate our lives just as if they were a Pinterest board. We don’t allow anyone to see real, raw emotion. We’re not allowed to tell the truth or show any forms of vulnerability.

Mating for Perfection

I’ve fallen prey to this presumption of perfection as well. To date, I have had to fix myself. I had to present myself as someone worthy of dating. I was made to believe that I couldn’t show up as my messy self because first impressions were important. I’d like to believe that these are neutral thoughts, but as I believe that life is all about improvement, I’m equally self-critical. I have to remember (just like you must remember) that this is not my fault. We are a product of this invisible system that tells us that we are not enough.

This modern definition of perfection is flawed because it is a word defined by what is left out. A word that is defined by the absence of something is not real. For example, darkness is the absence of light. Pure darkness only exists when light is completely absent. We can conclude that darkness isn’t a thing in itself but a relation between the amount of light one sees. Darkness, by itself, doesn’t exist. When we speak about perfection as it’s described today, we are referring to the absence of flaws. Perfection is the absence of pain, grief, doubt, failure, contradiction, and any other form of negativity you can think of. By removing negativity, we treat it as a bug in software, when in fact it is a feature of life. Nothing can be excluded from life.

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