Service to others is a noble idea and a great set of actions to strive for. However, it seems that there are hardly times when service is given without the expectation of a return. I work in a non-profit industry where a donation is no longer a gift, but an investment, implying that the person giving money is expecting something in return. It’s not a bad thing to want to understand how money is being governed within an institution, but one must ask oneself why they are giving in the first place. If the intention is truly to serve others, can the donor also see a person on the street in need and give to them without an intermediary?

The Need to Be Seen

In most cases, we don’t serve others. We serve the image of ourselves. Sometimes it’s hard to admit, but this is true, as we are very self-centered creatures. We don’t serve the community; we serve our appearance in the eyes of others when we serve others in the community. We want others to see us as people who serve, and so we strive to do just that. The reason I know this is that, even though we ask nothing in return, we do require some form of gratitude. When we work, we work for the appreciation of the work. We feel good when we are thanked, but feel invisible when no appreciation comes our way. Being helpful was never really helpful because it didn’t land the way we had intended.

In a sense, we do want to lift people, but only in a way that others notice. In this hierarchical conditioning we live in, we tend to use the people who are below us to look favorable towards the people above us. We want to help people, but only if they acknowledge that they couldn’t do it without us. Indeed, we need the satisfaction that we were the ones who helped them change. We can say we did it out of love, but is this true when we check in on the progression of this person as if they were a stock price?

It’s All About You

By serving, we’d like to say that it is not about us, but if it weren’t about us, there wouldn’t be any action to take. We’d recognize that the people we want to help are already perfect as they are. The only thing missing is treating them with the unwavering dignity that comes with being human. If it weren’t about us, we wouldn’t have to showcase all that we do with the world in hopes that they are pleased with our activity. If we are truly here to serve, the work we do doesn’t need to be seen because its impact will be felt.

True Service

This is what happens when our service comes with an agenda. We only care about the outcome of our work. We take a community and give it goals and objectives, and our impact is dependent on our opinion. The great thing about service is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Service without agendas doesn’t look like heroism. No one needs to be saved, as everyone is already perfect. What if service were a form that allowed people to remember how perfect they are? The idea of helping someone automatically puts someone in a place of lack, and uplifts us to the idea that we somehow have the knowledge and abundance to fix them.

Needing nothing in return doesn’t give the right to exploitation. The same people who are willing to serve are also handed unlivable wages. Services don’t come at a sacrifice. If I am here to help an organization towards its mission, I shouldn’t have to suffer to do so. Even more so if the suffering isn’t being collectively shared. If the associate cannot afford rent, but the CEO can afford multiple houses, there’s an issue. It’s a systemic issue of hierarchy in which the associate is manipulated by the idea of service being selfless, while simultaneously deteriorating the well-being of one person, while another person gains. This isn’t service. This is a sacrifice.

No Goals in These Words

I write these thoughts, not for the likes. I don’t get many likes on my social posts. I’m not able to track the impact that my writing has on people. At the same time, I don’t care. This work may have a profound impact on someone’s life, and I would never know. Yet, I do it anyway, for no other reason than that this is what I love to do. I might be failing in every social media engagement metric possible. I’m still doing what I need to do by typing on this laptop.

True service doesn’t come with a gold star. I’m not sure if reading this mattered to you. However, continuing to do this without expecting a return allows me to know that I’m doing it out of genuine service. The satisfaction of the work is the work itself. My work isn’t a strategy. I don’t keep track of how many times I post a week. I don’t track its engagement. I’m not even aware of the web metrics on my website. I do all these things because I want to do them, and nothing more. The reality is that I might not be recognized for my writing because I don’t have any specific goals associated with it. I do know that I’m at peace with what I write. Adding goals and conditions will only invite resistance I don’t want.

Questions and Responses