Historically, survival required access to scarce materials, including food, water, shelter, and safety. This would be the bottom portion of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Every person and animal needs these to survive, and since these resources are scarce, not everyone is entitled to survival. Evolutionary biography tells me that humans are wired to compete, and those who get to live are the strongest. Let’s call this the Hunger Games.

The characteristics for a person to compete in the Hunger Games are resourcefulness, the ability to defend against threats, and the ability to attract mates. Is this not where I put my emphasis on survival? I have a job so that I can make money. Resourcefulness, check. I defend myself in all the ways I can from threats, whether it be physical, psychological, or emotional. While doing all this, I have the classic yearning for sex, which is reproducing or starting a family of my own. If I’m looking for the milestones in life, isn’t this it? There possibly couldn’t be more to life than my survival.

No One is Equal

Yet, the need to survive has influenced almost everything in the human experience. Just about all relationships are formed within a hierarchy where power struggles abound between two or more individuals. Those who control the needed resources reside at the top of these hierarchies. One percent of the world’s population owns nearly half of the total global wealth, according to Oxfam. The person with the most power within the company is typically the owner or the CEO. Everyone else falls in the line below. To believe one isn’t a part of a hierarchy would be a false assumption.

Because we live in a society where the top owns almost everything, everyone strives to be at the top. It’s only natural. Society rewards high achievers with recognition, prestige, and money. When someone doesn’t find themselves as successful, something must be wrong. In reality, there are just a lot of people. Only a few get to the top. Many have gotten to the top by pure luck, and once they are at the top, they will do anything to maintain their status. As a result, we view relationships as a secondary goal for career success, social status, and personal achievement. It’s more beneficial to dominate than to create partnerships.

Competition Over Collaboration

The need for survival thus creates competition systems based on competition, from the economy to our politics. I am geared towards making sure there are winners and losers. When there is opposition, there is no trust. The narrative is us versus them. Both parties are the bad guys in the eyes of the other. I am less inclined to collaborate when there is competition because I need to improve. I’ve had friendships erode because I’ve been seen as a threat or there’s some pressure to outperform coworkers. There’s no such thing as healthy competition.

External Validation

The external markers of success discussed earlier now become the visual markers that separate me from others. I’m different than you because I have a better job, a better car, more friends, and a better lifestyle. I don’t associate with the person who waits for the bus because I’m too rich. I’d rather drive past them in my new car. I can tell who’s a success by the watch someone wears and who’s.a failure by the shopping cart they push. In doing so, I’ve taken the hierarchy I see in the other institutions and created a social hierarchy where I’m afraid to be at the bottom. I may not be at the top of my company, but I’m not that guy.

If I obtain a level of success, I must maintain it. This means I must be careful around people I believe can take it away from me. It’s a paranoia that has me doing my absolute best at work because I’m afraid of losing my job. It doesn’t matter how badly I’m treated. The money is more important. It also means that I must protect my belongings by adding a gate around my house and a security system because I know people out there want what I have. I know they are willing to steal rather than work hard like me.

The byproduct of this type of competition is hyper-individualism or the belief that I’ve gained everything I have on my own. For example, Forbes promoted Kylie Jenner as a self-made billionaire. Reading the magazine promotes the idea that I, too, can be just as successful on my own. As long as I pull myself up by bootstraps, right? So, to be Kyle, I must forgo my relationships and work even harder because only I can reach the top. To get there, I must crush the faces of the people I step on the way up. I must win in life, and there’s only one winner.

Questions and Responses