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The Positivity in Seeing the Negative
I think many of me treat what I perceive to be negative events as an inconvenience. I am taught always to be positive, so when it comes to negativity, it’s not supposed to happen. I try to avoid negativity as much as I can and plan against it. Throughout my life, I’ve been known to be a negative person. I’m not one to bring up the downsides of any plan. Every time this occurred, I was shamed for being labeled negative. If the thing I pointed out happened, it was my fault for thinking negatively.
Now, I realize I’m not negative. I’ve come to realize negative outcomes are just as likely as positive. Not thinking about the other side doesn’t make it go away. I’ve come to realize that I was comfortable with knowing the negative possibilities. I have accepted them as a possibility.
It’s funny that negativity is something I avoid, yet it is so common in all of me. I am not willing to see my dark side because it involves emotions I don’t want, like irritation, anxiety, grief, and worry. However, there are a lot of benefits from thinking about both sides instead of always remaining positive.
Benefits of Thinking Negatively
The first benefit I’d like to call out is that pointing out the negatives lowers expectations. In my case, it removes expectations altogether. If I go back to the brainstorming example I started with, I’d usually be in group meetings where new ideas would pop up. Someone would offer up a new idea and show how it would work. When this is said, I’m already running through the downsides of this idea. I could say it out loud, but I’d be labeled as a downer in most cases.
How much pressure does a person put on themselves if they predict that all of the outcomes of their idea will be positive? They will most likely put all their effort into making their predetermined positive notions the only possibility. That’s a lot of stress. In my case, bringing up the negative possibilities lowers the expectation of success because I’m already aware of the bad things that can happen if I execute the idea and succeed, great! If I don’t, it’s not a big deal because I’ve already noted that failure was a possibility.
Negativity is a Bad Thing
I position negativity as a bad thing when it doesn’t have to be. Since I deem it morally wrong, I tend to resist negativity instead of embracing it. Oddly enough, in this positivity-driven world, I don’t act positively towards negativity. Again, paradoxically, the resistance to negativity only creates more stress. The more I think negatively, the stronger the negative thoughts become. By resisting negativity, I think I am becoming more positive, but it’s at the risk of having a war within my mind. It’s almost like I gaslight my experiences just so that I am deemed morally good by only looking at the bright side.
The antidote to this constant rumination of negative thoughts is accepting the negativity. By accepting negativity, I see it as possible, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I must give it meaning. Negativity is meaningless. It only separates me from what is. Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. I accept that a mistake was made, and I keep moving. In my case, it should be okay to bring up ways that something won’t work instead of being shamed for being negative. The action of seeing two different perspectives isn’t a cause for defining one’s character.
Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity is not acknowledging that negativity is normal. Negativity happens throughout all of life. To pretend that it doesn’t only bring more hardships. Negativity doesn’t mean you are insecure, nor does it mean that you are incompetent. It’s an energy that is outside of me, yet I try to control it to no avail.
The best way to use negativity is to learn more about myself. If I make decisions without having a pros and cons list, I am only displaying one side of me. I am willing to decide without consulting myself. In most cases, these decisions are going to blow up in my face. As it is important to know what I like, I also need to know what I don’t like. A road is not only determined by what is paved but also by the wilderness that creates its boundaries.
Questions and Responses
Why do we treat negativity as something to avoid?
We’re often taught to stay positive, so when negative thoughts or events happen, we treat them as something to push away. Negativity feels like an inconvenience because it brings up emotions like fear, anxiety, and doubt that we’re uncomfortable with. But avoiding it doesn’t make it go away—it’s a natural part of life.
What are the benefits of thinking negatively?
Thinking about negative outcomes helps lower expectations, which reduces pressure. When you consider both the positive and negative possibilities, you’re better prepared for whatever happens. It can also relieve stress because if something goes wrong, you won’t feel blindsided—you already knew it was a possibility. In some cases, it even removes expectations entirely, making failure easier to accept.
Why is negativity often seen as a bad thing?
Society tends to label negativity as morally wrong, which leads to resistance and shame when we think negatively. We’re taught that only positivity is good, which creates stress when we can’t maintain that mindset. But in reality, negativity is just another way of looking at situations—it’s not inherently bad, and resisting it only makes it more powerful in our minds.
How can accepting negativity help us?
Accepting negativity allows us to see it as just one possibility rather than something we need to fight. By embracing it, we take away its power over us. For example, making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re a bad person—it’s just part of life. When you accept that negative things can happen, you stop giving them so much meaning, and you can move forward without being weighed down by guilt or shame.
What is toxic positivity, and why is it harmful?
Toxic positivity is the belief that we should always stay positive, no matter what. It ignores the fact that negativity is a normal part of life. By pretending that negative thoughts and feelings don’t exist, we put extra pressure on ourselves and create more stress. Acknowledging negativity allows us to process it and grow, while toxic positivity only makes us feel worse when we can’t stay upbeat all the time.
Can negativity actually help us make better decisions?
Yes! Thinking negatively helps us see both sides of a situation. When we weigh the pros and cons, we’re using all of our perspectives to make more informed decisions. By acknowledging what could go wrong, we can prepare better, avoid potential pitfalls, and ensure we’re not just making decisions based on wishful thinking.
How can embracing negativity improve our mindset?
Embracing negativity helps us approach life with a more balanced mindset. Instead of feeling guilty or ashamed when something goes wrong, we can see it as a learning experience. Accepting that negative things happen—without letting them define us—frees us from the constant pressure of perfection and helps us be more at peace with ourselves.
Is it okay to bring up the downsides of a plan or idea?
Absolutely! Pointing out potential downsides doesn’t make you a negative person—it makes you realistic. It’s important to consider both the positive and negative aspects of any plan or idea to make well-rounded decisions. If we only focus on the positives, we may set ourselves up for disappointment or failure.
How can I avoid the stress of trying to stay positive all the time?
The key is to let go of the idea that positivity is the only right way to feel. Accept that negativity is part of life, and it’s okay to have negative thoughts or feelings. When you stop fighting them, you’ll notice that the stress of maintaining a “perfectly positive” attitude fades away, and you’ll feel more balanced overall.
How does negativity help us understand ourselves better?
Negativity forces us to confront the parts of ourselves that we might ignore when we’re focused only on positivity. By acknowledging what we don’t like or what worries us, we gain insight into our boundaries, fears, and desires. This helps us grow and make decisions that are aligned with who we truly are, rather than just who we think we should be.