I’m not a parent, so I’m not going to talk about parenting. I do, however, see this dynamic play out in the workplace.
I think it’s beneficial to know what the difference is between two words that can possibly be used interchangeably. The main difference between the two is that punishment is intended to cause one to suffer for not following the rules.
Discipline is about teaching a person how to make a better choice the next time.
Punishment
Punishment is all about making people pay for their mistakes.
It’s also how we govern with fear. If you don’t do this the right way, you will be penalized. I feel like in our society, we have a desire to inflict punishment.
Cancel culture, in itself, constitutes punishment. If you don’t fit the social constructs, we will have nothing to do with you. People believe that it’s the only real way to send a message.
We punish people who commit crimes by putting them in jail cells and making them do menial labor because we believe that if they go through this experience, they won’t relive their past indiscretions. Has that actually worked?
When you get to the root of punishment, you realize that punishment is all about control.
Respect comes with autonomy.
Instead, we expect others to share our viewpoints and follow our rules. The problem with this method is that it makes people feel poorly about themselves.
If someone makes a mistake at work and they are reprimanded, the aftermath is that they don’t feel good enough. The result is that they must prove themselves to you rather than pursue their own well-being for intrinsic motivation.
This is what I mean by control. Not only does it harm self-esteem, but if the person doesn’t meet your expectations, you may come to see them as less than.
A child who experiences frequent punishment may come to believe that they are inherently bad. If someone goes to jail repeatedly, they may come to believe that they belong there.
People start to make bad decisions and make it a character trait.
Why Punishments Are Not Useful
The issue with punishment is that it never fixes the underlying issue or behavior of the person being punished.
When a criminal goes to jail, they are never taught how to make better decisions. They aren’t given the tools and resources to make sure that it never happens again. The only thing they receive is suffering for the time spent within a jail cell.
The same applies to the workplace. If you punish a subordinate without helping to correct the behavior, all you did was make them feel bad.
The use of punishment as a means of mistreatment only provokes revenge.
There’s a reason why people don’t like cops. It’s mostly because they are said to protect and serve, but we only see them mete out punishment.
The same applies to the school system. If you tell a student that they must stay in class during lunch or after school, more often than not, they will spend the time trying to figure out how to get the teacher back. It causes a never-ending cycle.
Put it to the test. The next time you’re in a meeting, put someone down for making a mistake. I bet more times than none, they are going to be ruminating on what you’ve done to them and seeing how they can make it even.
Discipline
The intention of discipline is to teach new skills and help solve problems.
The truth that we all do not universally realize is that everyone makes mistakes. We are so self-conscious that when we make a mistake, it’s fine because of all the stuff that we have going on, but there’s no room for the mistakes of others. We know that mistakes and bad decisions come with consequences, but those consequences mean nothing without a lesson.
Rather than reacting to an offense, the authority figure is proactive in ensuring that a lesson is learned from the individual’s poor decision.
There is no judgment.
It’s a single incident that needs to be corrected so that the person doesn’t have to experience the negative consequences of the decision. This is especially helpful when the consequences are dire in other environments.
I’m thinking about how a parent corrects a child so that when he/she get older, they adapt to the rules of the world. Every mistake is what it should be… a learning lesson.
Another way to foster discipline is to have a reward system.
People do what they know they should do, even when they don’t want to, if a reward is attached.
For instance, most people hate going to the gym. The benefits of the gym, such as a better physique and feel-good chemicals, keep me disciplined. I’ve never gone to the gym and said, “I wish I hadn’t done that.”
In our lives, adequate praise is sufficient to let people know that they are on the right path.
The Benefit of Discipline
The best part of disciplining someone rather than punishing is the relationship that is fostered between the authority figure and the person in their care.
We normally don’t like authority figures because we usually receive punishment.
Discipline gives both parties autonomy. A person who does nothing but policing must ensure that people are doing the right thing at all times. The subordinate is also attached to the authority figure because they want to ensure that they do whatever they need to do to avoid getting in trouble.
A person who learns with an authority figure gains confidence in themselves. A person with more confidence has a better chance nof ot making poor decisions.
Questions and Responses
The key difference is intent. Punishment focuses on inflicting suffering as a consequence of rule-breaking, often intended to control behavior through fear. On the other hand, discipline involves teaching and guiding individuals to make better choices in the future, thereby fostering growth and self-improvement.
Punishment doesn’t address the root cause of a behavior. It often leaves individuals feeling ashamed, inadequate, or even rebellious, thereby perpetuating a cycle of negative behaviors. For instance, in a workplace or educational setting, reprimanding someone without providing constructive feedback can undermine their self-esteem rather than motivating them to improve.
Punishment can lead individuals to internalize their mistakes, leading them to believe they are inherently bad or incapable. For example, children who face frequent punishment might grow up thinking they are “bad kids,” and repeated offenders in the criminal justice system may begin to view jail as their inevitable reality.
Discipline focuses on teaching and problem-solving. Instead of reacting harshly to mistakes, it provides tools and guidance to prevent future missteps. For example, a parent might use a mistake as an opportunity to explain better choices, helping their child learn without judgment.
Discipline promotes understanding, self-confidence, and accountability. It helps individuals connect their actions with consequences while offering a supportive environment for improvement. This approach fosters mutual respect between authority figures and those they guide.
Yes, rewards are an essential part of discipline. Positive reinforcement, such as praise or recognition, encourages individuals to continue making good choices. For example, many people stay disciplined at the gym because of the rewards: improved health, a stronger body, and a sense of accomplishment.
When discipline is used instead of punishment, it fosters trust and mutual respect. Authority figures who prioritize discipline help individuals feel supported rather than controlled. This creates a healthier dynamic where individuals can grow confidently, knowing they are guided rather than policed.
Discipline respects personal autonomy by focusing on teaching rather than controlling. This empowers individuals to make better decisions independently, rather than behaving out of fear of consequences. Over time, this builds self-reliance and intrinsic motivation.
Discipline cultivates long-term positive behavior and stronger self-esteem. It helps individuals feel valued and capable, reducing the likelihood of repeated mistakes. In contrast, punishment often leads to resentment, rebellion, or a sense of helplessness.