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Punishing People When They Make a Mistake Doesn’t Work
Knowing the difference between punishment and discipline is beneficial; it can be used interchangeably. The main difference is that punishment is meant to cause one to suffer because they did not follow the rules, while discipline teaches a person how to make a better choice the next time.
Punishment
Punishment is all about making people pay for their mistakes. It’s also how I govern with fear. I will be penalized if I do this the wrong way. I have a desire to inflict punishment. Cancel culture is a punishment. I will have nothing to do with you if I don’t fit the social constructs. People believe that it’s the only real way to send a message. Those who commit crimes are punished by putting them in jail cells while making them do menial labor because I believe that if they go through this experience, they won’t relive their past discretions. Has that worked?
When I get to the root of punishment, I realize that punishment is all about control. Respect comes with autonomy. Instead, I expect others to fit my viewpoints and follow my rules. The problem with this method is that it makes people feel poorly about themselves. If someone makes a mistake at work and they are reprimanded, the aftermath is that they don’t feel good enough. The result is that they must prove themselves to I rather than increase their well-being for intrinsic motivation. This is what I mean by control. It harms self-esteem, and if the person doesn’t fit my expectations, I start seeing this person as less than I.
A child who deals with a lot of punishment may believe they are inherently bad. If someone goes to jail enough times, they start believing they belong there. People start to take their bad decisions and make them a character trait.
Why Punishments Are Not Useful
The punishment issue is that it never fixes the underlying issue or behavior of the person being punished. When a criminal goes to jail, they are never taught how to make better decisions. They aren’t given the tools and resources to ensure it never happens again. The only thing they receive is suffering for the time spent in a jail cell. The same thing goes for the workplace. If I punish a subordinate without helping to correct the behavior, all I do is make them feel bad.
The mistreatment of punishment only causes revenge. There’s a reason why people don’t like cops. It’s mostly because they are said to protect and serve, but I only see them delve into punishment. The same thing goes for the school system. If I tell a student that they must stay in class during lunch or after school, often, they will spend the time trying to figure out how to get the teacher back. It causes a never-ending cycle.
Discipline
Discipline intends to teach new skills and help solve problems. The truth that I don’t seem to realize universally is that everyone makes mistakes. I am so self-conscious that when I make a mistake, it’s fine because of all the stuff I have going on, but there’s no room for the mistakes of others. I know mistakes and bad decisions come with consequences, but those consequences mean nothing without a lesson.
Instead of the authority figure being reactive to someone committing an offense, this person is proactive in ensuring a lesson is learned from the person’s bad decision. There is no judgment. It’s just one incident that needs to be corrected so that the person doesn’t have to feel the negative consequences of the decision. This is especially helpful when the consequences are dire in other environments. I’m thinking about how a parent corrects a child to adapt to the world’s rules as they age. Every mistake is what it should be… a learning lesson.
Another way to foster discipline is having a reward system. People do what they know they should do even when they don’t want to do it if there is a reward attached. For instance, most people hate going to the gym. The rewards of the gym, like a better physique and feel-good chemicals, keep me disciplined. I’ve never gone to the gym and said, “I wish I hadn’t done that.” when it comes to my life, adequate praise is enough to let people know they are on the right path.
The Benefit of Discipline
The best part about disciplining someone rather than punishing them is the relationship between the authority figure and the person in their care. I wouldn’t say I like authority figures because I usually receive punishment. Discipline gives both parties autonomy. A person who does nothing but policing has to ensure people are always doing the right thing (whatever the right thing means). The subordinate is also attached to the authority figure because they want to make sure that they do whatever they need to avoid getting in trouble. A person who learns from an authority figure gains confidence in themselves. A person with more confidence has a better chance of not making poor decisions.
Questions and Responses
What is the main difference between punishment and discipline?
The key difference is intent. Punishment focuses on causing suffering as a consequence of breaking rules, often aiming to control behavior through fear. On the other hand, discipline is about teaching and guiding individuals to make better choices in the future, fostering growth and self-improvement.
Why is punishment often ineffective?
Punishment doesn’t address the root cause of a behavior. It often leaves people feeling ashamed, inadequate, or even rebellious, leading to a cycle of negative actions. For instance, in a workplace or educational setting, reprimanding someone without offering constructive feedback can harm their self-esteem rather than motivate them to improve.
How does punishment impact self-esteem?
Punishment can cause individuals to internalize their mistakes, making them believe they are inherently bad or incapable. For example, children who face frequent punishment might grow up thinking they are “bad kids,” and repeated offenders in the criminal justice system may begin to view jail as their inevitable reality.
How does discipline work differently from punishment?
Discipline focuses on teaching lessons and solving problems. Instead of reacting harshly to mistakes, it provides tools and guidance to prevent future missteps. For example, a parent might use a mistake as an opportunity to explain better choices, helping their child learn without judgment.
Why is discipline more effective than punishment?
Discipline promotes understanding, self-confidence, and accountability. It helps individuals connect their actions with consequences while offering a supportive environment for improvement. This approach fosters mutual respect between authority figures and those they guide.
Can discipline involve rewards?
Yes, rewards are an essential part of discipline. Positive reinforcement, such as praise or recognition, encourages individuals to continue making good choices. For example, many people stay disciplined at the gym because of the rewards: improved health, a stronger body, and a sense of accomplishment.
How does discipline strengthen relationships?
When discipline is used instead of punishment, it fosters trust and mutual respect. Authority figures who prioritize discipline help individuals feel supported, not controlled. This creates a healthier dynamic where individuals can grow confidently, knowing they are guided rather than policed.
What role does autonomy play in discipline?
Discipline respects personal autonomy by focusing on teaching rather than controlling. This empowers individuals to make better decisions independently rather than behaving out of fear of consequences. Over time, this builds self-reliance and intrinsic motivation.
What are the broader benefits of discipline over punishment?
Discipline cultivates long-term positive behavior and stronger self-esteem. It helps individuals feel valued and capable, reducing the likelihood of repeated mistakes. In contrast, punishment often leads to resentment, rebellion, or a sense of helplessness.