I am responsible for everything I say yes to. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s something I need to remind myself of every day. I’m the type of person who hates obligations, but they’re something I can’t hide from. Every day, I indeed have a choice, but once I make a decision, I am responsible for it. This level of maturity has taken some time, but it is understandable. Everyone has chosen their obligation. When we choose to have children, our obligation is to care for them; when we choose a profession, our responsibility is to serve out the duties of that job, and when we choose a friend, we must provide companionship. I’ve never considered any of these to be responsibilities, but they are responsibilities because I agreed to them.

Rock the Boat

The thing that typically gets in the way of serving my duty is the emotions I feel in connection with my work. I may not like what I do for work, but because I have said yes to this work, I must ensure the work gets done, regardless of my emotional state. This idea may seem heartless, but I want to present it in a way that is highly beneficial to myself and, hopefully, to others. The reason why I can’t rely on my emotions is that they are impermanent. They change from circumstance to circumstance. I can’t truly rely on my emotions because they change based on the situation. It makes little difference whether these are positive or negative emotions. I might like some aspects of what I need to do, but hate others. If I find myself rocking back and forth between these waves, I’m bound to get seasick.

Tolerance is Not Suppression

If my responsibility is something I don’t like doing, it’s better to learn to tolerate it rather than resist it. When I say tolerate, I don’t mean suppress. Suppression of my emotions is not going to be the remedy for responsibilities I don’t favor. If anything, it will make it worse. It’s also not to say that I need to express every emotion that I have, either. This is all about finding the middle ground. The middle ground in this case is learning to recognize and acknowledge my emotions, and then releasing them.

Exercising Tolerance

Tolerance is so hard to do. It’s much easier to react to the things we like and dislike. When it comes to praise, it’s easier to feel like I’ve accomplished something and that accomplishment makes me better than my peers, at least for a brief moment. It’s also easier to vent about the situation to people due to my frustration. In both cases, I’m not in control of my emotions. My emotions are in control of me. In many cases, we feel as though we are powerless against our emotions, as they are phenomena that happen. This isn’t the case if I learn to exercise my tolerance, just as I do another muscle in my body.

This is what growth feels like. It’s uncomfortable. It’ll come with pain. Yet, I know that this pain will be beneficial because it will lead to my goal of inner peace. I don’t need to be able to calm the storms of my life, but I need to learn how to rest in them. As I rest, the storms will calm on their own. When I understand that my emotions create the highs and the lows of my life, my goal is to remain in the middle, unbothered by both glory and defeat. In this way, I can carry my burden without it feeling heavy.

Questions and Responses