I know folks are getting their New Year’s resolutions in order right now. I’ve read tweets of people bragging about how many books they read this year.
We’ve been taught that self-development is a virtue, but behind every resolution is a subtle whisper. “This version of me is an error.”
Every time we resolve to change, we simultaneously reinforce the belief that we are a collection of flaws. We’d like to call it self-help, but it’s truly self-attack. Self-improvement inevitably draws our attention to what we lack rather than what is present within us.
We live in a culture of becoming. It’s ironic, because if we are always meant to become something, who are we right now? As I’m writing, I can see how we treat ourselves as rough drafts that never get published.
Our dissatisfaction doesn’t come from our habits, or lack of them. They come from the belief that our worth is tied to them.
The very idea of a “New Me” is a fantasy. It’s a fantasy that works because its very design is to keep you from noticing the perfection in this very moment.
We invest in the future because we are told it holds the peace we seek once our goals are met. Yet, this is impossible. If our peace depends on an outcome, we’ve signed a contract to ensure we meet those goals. However, once we meet those goals, our mind simply moves the goalposts.
Removing the Need to Fix
The hardest mental hurdle to overcome is the need to do anything at all. I still have issues with this myself. We are conditioned to believe that our being comes from our actions. When we’re busy, we don’t take the time to realize that things unfold on their own.
What we call “our lives” is a series of conditioned responses shaped by biological programming, social conditioning, and environmental triggers. We are a part of this web of life, but for some reason, the only species that takes credit or blame for its actions.
The moment we believe that we are the ones to “fix” our lives. We’ve decided to resist the course of nature and take matters into our own hands. Yet, this is what we are taught to do. Any non-action is seen as lazy or passive.
When we make resolutions, we celebrate having read 200 books in the year. Great! However, if we fail to shed the weight we said we would, we are overcome with guilt. We say we lack discipline when, in truth, we have no control over our bodies as we’d like to think. It’s just another character playing out its role.
Yet weight loss is the most common resolution made every year. We believe that a better body will lead to a richer life experience. However, a better body doesn’t give us the peace we yearn for, any more than any other outcome.
Who’s to say that one body is better than another? If you really think about it, is the yearning for a better body even your opinion? Are we just doing it to fit in the collective idea of the optimal body?
The Myth of Growth
We live in a society that is obsessed with growth. We are told that if we don’t grow, we die.
The world loves the word “potential” because it keeps people like you in a state of perpetual debt to the future. To say you have potential is to say you are not enough.
Consequently, our minds believe that being static is being “boring” or “lazy.” Again, if you don’t move, you die. So we run on caffeine and busyness.
To be static is to be like the sky. It doesn’t need to go anywhere for it to be the sky. It’s an unchanging backdrop through which clouds pass.
If you understand your perfection, you’ll know that you never need to change. The change will occur on its own.
Instead, we believe that the clouds are permanent stains. We believe that bad habits have corrupted our essence.
We must remember that our faults and failures are scenes and not the movie. The missed gym sessions, procrastination, and the short tempers all came and went like the clouds. They don’t stay forever.
The clouds can be as grey as ever, but we must remember that at some point, they will go away. There’s no resolution for us to make that would make them go away. It’ll pass on its own.
The Resolution to Do Nothing
Another common misconception is that if we don’t manage our lives, everything will fall apart. Yet, we can see from examples in nature that life is self-organizing.
When we resolve to do nothing, we aren’t dying. We are resigning as the “General Manager of the Universe.”
Instead of seeing our lives as a series of problems to be solved, we can, instead, see them as a series of appearances to be noticed.
Guilt cannot survive in a mind that is not trying to change anything. You just need to be 100% okay with yourself, regardless of whether you’re lazy, energetic, sad, or happy.
The search for a resolution has been your only problem. Imagine a painter adding layers to a finished masterpiece because they believe they haven’t started yet. A resolution is to remove the unnecessary added paint. Who cares if you hadn’t read a book last year?
If you do have a resolution, let it be this:
I resolve to recognize that I cannot be improved, for I am perfect as I am.
Questions and Responses
We’ve been conditioned to believe that guilt is the only thing that moves us. In reality, the body and mind have their own “programming” or flow. Things will still happen. You will still eat, work, and move. However, you will do so without the crushing weight of “trying” to be someone else. Being “static” isn’t about lack of movement; it’s about the inner realization that you don’t need to move to be worthy. The sky doesn’t move, yet the clouds pass through it effortlessly.
There is nothing inherently wrong with books or health. The trap is the belief that these things add to your value. If you read 200 books, you have more information, but you aren’t “more” of a person. If you lose weight, your body is smaller, but your essence remains unchanged. The goal of this perspective is to stop using these activities as a “fix” for a “broken” self. When you realize you aren’t broken, you can enjoy these activities without the shadow of guilt.
When you see others bragging about their “hustle,” recognize it for what it is: a collective defense against the present moment. They are running because they are afraid that if they stop, they will have to face the “insufficiency” they feel inside. Instead of judging them or yourself, look at that social media post as a “cloud” passing through your awareness. You don’t have to join the race to be part of the world.
It looks like an internal “exhale.” It means when you feel a short temper or a lack of motivation, instead of immediately trying to “fix” it or shaming yourself for it, you simply notice it. “Ah, there is irritation appearing right now.” By not resisting it, you allow it to pass on its own. You stop trying to control the weather in your mind and start enjoying the fact that you are the one watching it.
Not at all. “Doing nothing” is a mental stance, not a physical one. You can be incredibly busy at work while internally “doing nothing”. It means you aren’t mentally laboring to be someone “better” or “different” than who you are in that moment. It’s the end of the internal war, not the end of your physical life.
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