Our minds have an idea of what should be. It’s mostly a manual for life that our brains know, but remain unwritten. We assign rules to people without telling them the rules and then get upset when they break them. It’s no different when it comes to other aspects of life. These are the rules we assign to manage predictability. The cause and effects are written into the mind regardless of whether it is true. If I work hard, I will become successful. If I love someone, they will stay. I can also say if I eat right, I’ll stay healthy. The thing we don’t understand about the truth is that it is the truth without any exceptions. It has to be true for everyone in any circumstances. We already know from our own experiences that none of this is true.

The Rules Are Not to Be Questioned

Yet we follow these rules, and when they are eventually broken, we don’t question them. We blame ourselves for not trying hard enough. Exercising will make me skinny, but I still have a dad bod. I may not be working hard enough. I’m not as successful as I want to be; I may not be working hard enough. Reality has violated these contracts we hold in our minds time and time again. Loyalty means nothing to the person who was laid off after years of service. The person who is in the gym every day may be in a car accident tomorrow. The surprise of unexpected events not only brings us pain, but they also shatter our identity.

I Didn’t Consent

When suffering occurs without our consent, we feel betrayed by life. I wonder how my father felt when he was diagnosed with lung cancer after putting so much pride into eating better and running every day. It must have been devastating. The idea of manifestation has to be a type of farse because the more we try to control the effect, the more despair occurs when we experience the opposite. When we invest in a relationship, and the person leaves without an explanation, we believe we wasted our time. As something bad happens after all the time we’ve tried preventing it, we find ourselves in a deep depression, asking what the point was.

When the rules don’t work, we typically don’t dismiss the rule as false. Instead, we try to make new rules. If this belief failed, the new one may hold. This is where the explanations come into play because we use our analysis to develop a new thesis, placing life into the scientific method. My partner left me because I wasn’t attractive enough, so I must fix myself so that the next person stays. I was let go from my job because I didn’t work hard enough. The next job, I will give my all, and there will be no reason for me to leave. Instead of understanding that the rules were faulty constructs, we replace them with others that may work for us, but would eventually crumble like the other rules.

Do We Need Rules?

What if we didn’t have to make rules? How many rules have to be broken to realize the rules are the issue? The rules only live in our heads, and the contract was only signed by us. No one else has any awareness of our expectations, yet we treat them in a way that “should” know. The idea of being absent from rules is quite scary because these rules offer another false sense of security. As a result, we’d rather live in a house made of straw than feel the breeze of open air. At some point, that breeze is going to destroy the house—word to the first little pig.

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