The truth I know but have a hard time coming to grips with is that one day, I will no longer be in this world. I won’t be alive. Everything that I’ve gained, everything I’ve built, and everything I love will cease to exist. My life will end, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be prepared for this end. I gain knowledge for those around me because it won’t last forever. The more I can learn to let go of the things that I have, the easier it will be not to need to cling on to my life once it’s time to go. The willingness to know when my time is up brings peace.

Nothing lasts forever is an objective fact. I see it in the clothes I wear, the jobs I’ve had, and the relationships I’ve had. As much as I want to cling to the things I love, I know that they will have a beginning and an end. I’ve always been taught that change is inevitable, but I never truly meant what that implied. It’s baffling thinking about history, knowing that I wasn’t there, and then thinking about a distant future, knowing I won’t be there for that either. I’ve also learned that things don’t truly end. The winter becomes spring, the spring becomes summer, summer becomes fall, and fall becomes winter again. Nothing ever really dies word to Pharrell, Chad, and Shay. What I call death may be the beginning of a new life.

When I’m not mindful, I believe that I have unlimited time. I’m not saying that I need to be urgent. There are just aspects of my life that I hold onto, and if I’m not careful, I’ll die with these attachments. I have no problem attaching to love. I need to be aware when I attach to negativity, such as grudges. There’s also this stigmatization around instant gratification. Who’s to say that a future reward is more beneficial? Who’s to say I will ever see that future reward? All I have is now, so why would I be concerned with the future? I think it goes back to the idea that I believe I have unlimited time. Yet, I’m also aware that this sense of urgency pops up in the most meaningless tasks.

Facing death is one of my greatest life challenges because I don’t know what happens afterward. There are beliefs. One person may say that I would go to heaven, while another would believe in reincarnation. The fact that there are multiple beliefs about the afterlife tells me I don’t know. I’ve seen the most faithful person I know be afraid of death. The funny thing about heaven and reincarnation is that I believe both happen while I’m alive. I believe heaven begins on Earth. If I can create a haven for myself now, there’s a good chance I won’t be too afraid to leave it. Fear is an element of survival as it gives the adrenaline to fight or flee if we feel threatened. What if I didn’t have that feeling? Is it possible?

I also think reincarnation is an aspect of life because I live and die to my identity daily. The person I am today isn’t the person I was 10 years ago, six months ago, or even yesterday. I’d like to think everything is permanent, but it’s not. Knowing that identity is fluid allows me to understand the fluidity of identity in others. This means that I don’t judge another person if their beliefs and expressions of themselves differ from mine. It also allows me to not cling to the things that would obstruct my evolution, including money, status, and possessions. I travel light because there’s no telling where I’m headed next.

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