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Everything is an Opinion, but We Treat it Like Truth
Is there a difference between having an opinion and placing judgment on something or someone? One could make the case. In my case, judgment is placing an opinion on something and not allowing that opinion to change. It’s creating an identity out of my perceptions. Judgment rules the world, so it’s very hard to detach from the projections I place on people, places, and things. I judge people based on their body type, their financial situation, or their status within a moral society. My systems are built on judgment by promoting those who follow my norms and rules while punishing those who don’t. I want to go as far as having no opinions at all.
What’s Wrong with Judging?
The real issue with judgment is that it doesn’t allow for change. Sure, I may have an initial opinion on something, and maybe that gives me a bit of discernment. When I’m not open to changing this opinion, I’m not living. Rather, I judge myself, and to make my ideas objective, I judge others in a way that aligns with my views. This causes me to need control just so that everything around me aligns with my rigid way of thinking. When I see something I don’t agree with on Twitter, the inclination is to let that person know my views just so that there’s balance. I believe that I am being attacked, and the only way to combat these attacks is to become defensive.
I hope to get to a place where an opinion sparks curiosity. If I have an opinion about something, it is probably out of a lack of knowledge. I get to a state of judgment from my unwillingness to learn. My culture doesn’t allow me to question my ideas and my feelings. I typically have an opinion, and I have to join a cult that reflects this new opinion. If my religious affiliation doesn’t allow me to change opinions as new information is learned, it’s kind of cultish. If my judgment doesn’t allow me to learn and appreciate other people’s opinions (knowing that they aren’t real, to begin with), I’ve reached judgment territory.
I Need Absolute Answers
I think my biggest issue as a human is my need for absolute answers. In truth, I don’t like the analytical part of my mind and my job because I would typically say things like everyone, no one, always, and never towards all of my judgments and typically be wrong. A part of the reason why Blackberry lost the smartphone battle to Apple was the belief that “no one” wanted their keyboard on the screen. There’s no such thing as absolutes like always and never, but I feel I use these words way more often than I should.
Living a life of absolution might make me a bit more comfortable and a bit safer. It also limits me. If I have the existential question of whether I have free will or are things predestined for me, I can almost guarantee that shackling myself with judgment removes my free choice. The reason why people don’t want to be judged is because it puts a set of requirements on another person that they never asked for.
I project my limitations onto others when I decide to shove them into my box. This is why I don’t like receiving feedback at work. I think accepting and taking in feedback unconsciously is preached in my work culture. No one ever says to take my manager’s feedback internally and bounce it off to my values to make sure the input is valid. If I don’t take the feedback, what do I think will happen? I’ll most likely be labeled as an insubordinate employee.
Am I Living My Truth?
I like to believe that I know my life and that I am living my life in truth because I already have preconceived notions of what I want my life to be. The truth is there’s no such thing. I can compare myself to other people. I can even admire these people, but if I don’t reach the level of success that I believe I should have, I am going to end up in a state of depression.
There’s no absolute truth when it comes to humans. Even the notion that “men lie, women lie, but numbers don’t” is total bologna. Even when it comes to data, I will take any numbers and use them to tell a story of my perceptions. I’ve seen this plenty of times in marketing. My memories aren’t true either. They are stories that I tell myself and others. Ironically, the story seems to change each time I tell it. I went to Instagram to ask friends if they could tell the difference between a memory and a dream. I think I had some folks thinking.
Facts Aren’t All That Important
The important part of a story isn’t the facts but the lessons I learn from them. I think that’s the downfall of reading religious texts. It feels like people are more caught up with if the creation story is real rather than receiving the lessons that the story offers. Like the importance of rest, for example. Instead, I have needless debates between religious folks and science loyalists around evolution. I guess if I believe in science that much, I am also religious. If the story doesn’t help me become a better person, then what’s the point? The same thing can be said about the stories I tell myself. If the story doesn’t positively benefit me, there’s no point in rehashing that memory. Holding on to one and creating an identity around it when there are many other good memories to tell creates judgment for me.
There’s no such thing as objectivity in this world, so there’s no such thing as facts. Everything is an opinion because everything I think and perceive is fluid. The reason why I know that facts aren’t absolute truth is because of their permanent nature. I believe once a fact is always a fact, but a fact can change at any moment. I change theories all the time when new information is present. Scientists proved that Africans and their descendants were inferior to their white counterparts in intelligence because their skulls were smaller. Napoleon wasn’t short; he was the average height of 5’ 6”. There is no such thing as a division between the left and right brain. The Great Wall of China is not visible from space. I can keep going if I’d like.
Questions and Responses
What is the difference between having an opinion and placing a judgment?
An opinion is a viewpoint or belief about something that remains open to change and evolution. Judgment, on the other hand, often involves solidifying an opinion into a rigid stance and projecting it onto others or situations. Judgment tends to limit flexibility and create a framework of expectations for people or circumstances, whereas an opinion can spark curiosity and dialogue.
Why is judgment considered problematic?
Judgment can hinder personal growth because it leaves little room for change or learning. By holding on to fixed ideas and imposing them on others, judgment creates barriers to understanding new perspectives. It also fosters defensiveness, control, and a need to validate one’s preconceived notions, which can isolate individuals from diverse ideas and experiences.
How does judgment affect relationships and interactions?
Judgment often leads to projecting one’s limitations and expectations onto others. This can strain relationships as people may feel unfairly evaluated or misunderstood. Instead of fostering collaboration and empathy, judgment may create conflict, especially when differing viewpoints are met with rigidity rather than curiosity or openness.
Why is curiosity important in forming opinions?
Curiosity allows individuals to approach opinions with a willingness to learn and adapt. When opinions are formed without curiosity, they may stem from incomplete knowledge or biases. Curiosity enables one to explore new information, question assumptions, and develop a more nuanced understanding of complex topics.
Can the need for absolute answers contribute to judgment?
Yes, the need for absolute answers often drives judgment. Absolutes like “always” and “never” can oversimplify complex realities, leading to rigid conclusions and resistance to change. This mindset can limit personal growth by discouraging flexibility and openness to new information or perspectives.
How can one overcome the tendency to judge?
To overcome judgment, it is essential to embrace a mindset of learning and self-reflection. This involves questioning one’s beliefs, remaining open to feedback, and seeking to understand rather than control others. Recognizing that facts and perspectives can evolve over time also helps reduce judgmental tendencies.
Why are facts not always permanent or objective?
Facts are often considered fixed, but history shows that they can change with new evidence or discoveries. For example, misconceptions about historical figures, scientific theories, or cultural beliefs highlight how facts can be fluid. Understanding this encourages a more adaptable and less judgmental approach to knowledge.
How does judgment limit personal freedom?
Judgment can restrict personal freedom by locking individuals into a rigid framework of expectations and beliefs. This can prevent them from exploring new ideas or living authentically. Overcoming judgment allows individuals to make choices aligned with their values without being constrained by preconceived notions.
What role do stories and memories play in shaping judgment?
Stories and memories often shape perceptions and judgments by reinforcing certain beliefs. However, these narratives are subjective and can change over time. Focusing on lessons from experiences rather than clinging to rigid interpretations can help reduce judgment and promote personal growth.
How can embracing change improve personal development?
Embracing change allows individuals to learn, grow, and adapt their perspectives as new information emerges. This openness fosters a more inclusive and empathetic outlook, enabling better relationships, decision-making, and self-awareness. It also reduces the need for control and judgment, creating space for innovation and understanding.
What is the connection between judgment and control?
Judgment often stems from a desire for control, as individuals try to align the world with their rigid views. This can lead to defensive behaviors and resistance to change. Letting go of judgment involves relinquishing this need for control and accepting the fluid nature of opinions and experiences.
How does self-judgment impact mental health?
Self-judgment can lead to feelings of inadequacy and restrict personal growth. By imposing rigid standards on oneself, individuals may struggle with self-doubt and perfectionism. Learning to appreciate one’s journey and embracing imperfections can reduce self-judgment and improve mental well-being.
Can feedback help reduce judgment?
Yes, feedback can provide valuable insights that challenge existing beliefs and encourage growth. However, it is essential to critically evaluate feedback and align it with personal values rather than blindly accepting or rejecting it. This balanced approach fosters learning and reduces judgment.
Is there a link between judgment and societal norms?
Judgment is often influenced by societal norms and expectations. People may project these norms onto others, leading to unfair evaluations or stereotypes. Recognizing this influence allows individuals to question societal standards and develop a more inclusive perspective.
How does curiosity create a healthier mindset than judgment?
Curiosity promotes exploration and understanding, encouraging individuals to seek knowledge and embrace diverse perspectives. Unlike judgment, which seeks to define and control, curiosity fosters a mindset of openness and adaptability, leading to more meaningful connections and personal growth.