Before we start, I have a question. What is solidarity? It can be defined as unity or agreement of feeling or action, especially among individuals with a common interest. If we are expected to live on this planet with other individuals, solidarity is essential. Yet, this world tends to promote isolation while simultaneously shaming the isolated. As I’ve grown older, I’ve found it increasingly difficult to find meaningful connections, mostly because I’m not accepted for who I am and judged for not living up to who I’m expected to be. It leaves me with two choices: be alone or conform to the ideas that others have for me.

What Does it Mean to be Independent?

I think there is an incorrect definition of what independent means. If I were to go deeper, I would say that individualism as a concept is typically vilified because it comes with the assumption that one who perceives themselves as an individual is also selfish. People tend to live on extremes. This means if I see myself as an individual, that means that I’m shunning the collective. As a result, there’s this expectation to forgo my autonomy for the greater good. What is the greater good? Yet those who live on the other end of the spectrum isolate themselves because they believe personal achievements are more important than human connection. I don’t fall in either of these two camps.

The Trap of Collectivism

The ideology of collectivism dominates the culture because humans have an innate need for belonging. This need for belonging manipulates people into believing they are a part of a group when they slowly lose their identity because of the group. Group dynamics are power relationships, and those who influence the group can easily manipulate belonging into sameness. This means that, to join a group, I unconsciously give myself away to a relationship. If this relationship were to end, I would no longer have an identity. I wouldn’t know who I am without the dependency of the group. This is the mechanism of survival. To belong to the family, I must conform to the ideologies of my family; to belong to my friend group, I must conform to the ideologies of my friend group; and to belong to the company, I must conform to the company’s ideologies. It doesn’t leave much room for freedom.

Love is the Answer

The solution to this collective bondage is solidarity. Solidarity says that we are all in this together. I don’t care who you are, what you look like, or what you’ve done (I almost feel like I’m singing a Backstreet Boys song); we share the responsibility of well-being. My commitment to you and your commitment to me is that we both live well. That’s it. I couldn’t care less about our commonalities. The only commonality that matters is that we are both alive. Solidarity means recognizing our shared humanity, helping others without expecting a reward, and standing against injustice.

With any relationship I enter into, I’ve agreed to the commitment that your well-being is my responsibility. The relationship doesn’t matter—the well-being of my spouse, coworkers, friends, family, and acquaintances… all my responsibility. Relationships are perfected when this responsibility is reciprocated. This is love. Love isn’t a feeling but an active choice to care, respect, and learn about those outside of myself. This is done through action. It does not have to be a grand gesture. If I can practice kindness, seek to understand people, and love myself in a way that allows me to love others, I’m well on my way.