The commonality between everyone living in the Western world is that we’ve been told to hide our flaws. It doesn’t matter if you were told by your parents or by your employer. Flaws are bad and won’t be tolerated. When we talk about flaws, we are describing aspects of our lives and situations that we believe don’t belong. Flaws aren’t “supposed to be.” Yet, the idea of “supposed to be” is highly subjective. Who has the authority to tell us what is not supposed to be, and why do we hand this person this power? More importantly, what are we measuring ourselves against? In this predicament, perfection is nothing more than an ideal rather than a reality.

When we speak of perfection, we talk about perfectly symmetrical things. It’s a fantasy of making sure that everything, including ourselves, is controlled and certain. We draw a circle around the things we accept, which puts a barrier on the outside where insecurity, awkwardness, and regrets cannot penetrate. At least, we don’t allow them to. We want to make our lives as sterile as a doctor’s office, but an inclusive life is as wild as a jungle. The difference lies in that one is a controlled environment, while the other requires a willingness to surrender. Our egos won’t allow that.

Flaws Give Us Connection Points

The interesting thing about flaws is that they provide an opening for inclusion. Connection is hard for someone who demands cleanliness. It’s very hard to connect with someone who wears a metaphorical hazmat suit. We tend to admire people who present themselves as polished, put together, and certain, but it’s very hard to have a close connection with them due to the fear of judgment. Especially if we don’t feel as put together as they are.

Paradoxically, flaws allow us to have intimacy. Recall any time you had a vulnerable talk with someone else that allowed you to reveal your failure or admit a fear. How did you feel about this person? There’s a reason we can’t have these conversations with everyone around us. It’s been a detriment to relegate these types of conversations to a therapist. When we can express our flaws to people, we receive the permission to feel and a greater sense of belonging.

Learning Through Flaws

Acknowledging our flaws opens us up to the opportunities to learn from them. Being aware of our flaws keeps us in a learning mindset, while hiding them makes us pretend that we know it all. Recognizing our flaws and limitations keeps us open to new ideas, enabling us to grow. Believing we know it all closes us up to any growth. It’s very cliche, especially in the Christian community, but the breakdown is the breakthrough. Understanding that we all have and perform errors allows us to see the light we would have never seen if we thought we were certain about everything all the time.

The reason we often dislike our flaws and perceive them as enemies is that we can’t control them. No matter how much cream you put on your face, it will still wrinkle as you age. It’s seductive to think that we are above the mess of the world, but the truth is that we are the mess. You’re eyes are probably turning away from these words yet again. A great exchange for this sense of control, if we choose to relinquish it, is humility. When we no longer need to manage our appearance, we start to understand who we are.

Flaws Are Perfect

Using the definition of perfection as wholeness, we start to see that flaws are a part of our perfection. The scars on our bodies aren’t flaws but the stories we’ve learned through this interesting thing we call life. The personality traits that we hate are the same traits that teach us compassion. There are going to be times when we wrestle with life, and the result of the fight will be injury. We shouldn’t be sorry for the injury, as it’s merely a signature that you are alive. Once we start to see our flaws as not interruptions but entry points, we change our entire perspective on how we live.

What if we started to see our flaws as tattoos? Even in our brokenness, are we still part of the whole? Nothing excludes us from this perfection. Even now, people often perceive tattoos in a negative light. If you visit Japan, covering up your tattoos is considered a normal practice. If we cover our tattoos, it only means that we are ashamed of them. We don’t allow people to see them because we want to make sure they remain comfortable. We must remember that we aren’t robots; we are humans. Just like a tattoo, our flaws are what make us unique. Even in our uniqueness, we are one. Not because we’ve decided to remove our uniqueness, but because we’ve learned to accept it and accept those of others.

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