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What Does it Mean to Prioritize Peace
My desires and my wants are the source of my suffering. I have a choice to make. I can give in to my desires, or I can have peace. There’s no way of having both, and there’s no finding it in the material world. Desires aren’t guaranteed, and when I don’t obtain my goals, I feel a bit defeated. I feel like I’ve failed. I suddenly lacked something that I didn’t need in the first place. Even if I did reach my goal, the ecstatic feeling of victory doesn’t last very long. So, I live a life of high highs and low lows.
If I want true peace, the only thing I should desire is peace. My desires take me out of the present moment unless the desire can be fulfilled in that exact moment. If I have a desire to lose weight, that’s something that I’ll have to look forward to. If I don’t get the results that I want, I start to have some anxiety about why my body won’t adapt to the physique I want it to. After time passes, I start to become depressed because no matter what I do, I can never lose the weight that I want. Wanting something, especially wanting something that might be difficult to obtain, only brings about stress. When I look toward my desires, I detach from the blessings I have right in front of me.
Saying ‘no’ can be very hard, but it is imperative that you stop saying ‘yes’ to things you know disturb your peace and happiness.
The chase is addictive, and I’m always trying to get to that next high. This is why getting promotions and/or receiving pay increases are alluring. I’m taught to keep progressing in life. I fell into this trap, believing that I should be a director. I had the experience; I did well at my job, and I wasn’t content. It was time for me to go on to the next step in my career. I didn’t know that I would dislike it. The thing about addiction is that the same success doesn’t get me high anymore. I am always looking for something stronger. It’s a great feeling when I have that accomplishment. That’s until the next thing comes around.
I gain peace when I learn to accept what is. When I accept and surrender to what is now, emotions like sadness, anger, and disappointment dissipate. I found this to be true in my dating life. I’ve always had a goal of basically falling in love with the people I date. If something were to go wrong, I wouldn’t accept that things just didn’t work out. I didn’t accept that I wasn’t compatible. I always thought there was something wrong with me and that I needed to read another pickup book to be better with dates. It was a sad existence that most male-identified people go through. I’ve been better at disassociating with these goals and accepting what happens. I say that it’s about the journey and not the destination, but how many people take this common saying to heart?
Peace is a Choice
When I choose peace over the many things that I can turn my attention to, I allow myself to be present. Why is peace my true desire? Think of all the things I want. The cars, the clothes, the success, the relationships, and ask, would I want all of this over peace? Would I want to live a miserable life if that meant that I were a part of the 1%? Give me peace. That doesn’t mean that none of these material successes aren’t possible. It means that my peace isn’t dependent on how much money I have in my bank account. Once I choose peace, all the other things can come to me without attachment. I won’t feel lost if I lose another dollar, another job, or another relationship.
Questions and Responses
Why do desires often lead to feelings of suffering?
Desires, particularly those rooted in material goals or personal achievements, create expectations. When we set expectations, there’s a chance they won’t be met, which often leads to feelings of disappointment, stress, or even a sense of failure. The more we desire something outside of our immediate experience, the more we lose sight of the present, missing out on the peace and fulfillment that it offers.
Can I pursue goals without becoming attached to the outcome?
Yes, it’s possible to pursue goals without attachment by focusing on the process rather than the outcome. When we shift our attention to what we can control—our effort, growth, and learning along the way—we feel more peace. Detachment from the outcome doesn’t mean apathy or lack of ambition; it’s about recognizing that true contentment isn’t found solely in achievement but in the journey itself.
How does the pursuit of success or promotion become addictive?
The cycle of achievement can become addictive because each success brings a temporary high that we naturally want to replicate. Over time, however, the initial satisfaction diminishes, and we crave something greater. This often leads to a “chase” for bigger or better rewards to regain that sense of fulfillment, creating a continuous loop of wanting more without lasting peace.
Is it possible to find peace in romantic relationships despite heartbreaks?
Yes, peace in relationships comes from accepting situations as they are and understanding that not every connection will be a perfect fit. When we let go of idealized expectations and focus on the present experience, we feel more content. By recognizing that some relationships may end, we avoid placing unrealistic pressure on ourselves or others and open ourselves up to relationships rooted in acceptance.
What does it mean to ‘accept what is’?
Acceptance means letting go of the resistance to situations that are beyond our control. This involves recognizing that not everything will align with our desires and that trying to force things often brings unnecessary stress. Acceptance frees us from disappointment, anger, or frustration, enabling us to respond to life’s ups and downs with calm and clarity.
Can I still enjoy material things while prioritizing inner peace?
Yes, enjoying material things doesn’t conflict with inner peace. What matters is our relationship to these things. If we rely on material success or possessions as the only source of happiness, we risk feeling empty when these things are lost or fail to satisfy us. When inner peace becomes the foundation, material things can be appreciated without becoming essential for well-being.
How can I start prioritizing peace over external achievements?
Start by bringing more awareness to the present moment and regularly reflecting on what genuinely matters to you. Meditation, mindfulness practices, and spending time in nature are helpful tools to reconnect with a sense of inner peace. Over time, setting intentions for peace rather than constant achievement can make it easier to find contentment within, rather than through external goals.
Why is it important to live in the present moment?
Living in the present moment is essential because it reduces anxiety and stress that often arise from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. Being fully present allows us to appreciate what we have now, fostering a sense of gratitude and grounding. This mindful approach helps in making peace a priority over unending desires.
How does acceptance contribute to peace?
Acceptance is key to peace because it shifts focus from controlling outcomes to embracing reality as it is. When we accept life’s unpredictability, we’re less likely to feel disappointed or frustrated by unmet expectations. This approach brings emotional balance, allowing peace to become our baseline rather than a fleeting experience.
What are the long-term benefits of choosing peace over constant striving?
Choosing peace leads to sustained contentment and emotional stability. Over time, it builds resilience, reduces stress, and deepens self-understanding. While striving for goals can bring short-term satisfaction, a foundation of peace supports a balanced, fulfilled life where achievements are enjoyed but don’t define one’s self-worth.