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Resistance to Fear and the Willingness to Move Forward
How do I know when I am afraid? Through this learning process, I’ve realized that I need opposites to learn what things truly mean. Courage is not the absence of fear, but true courage needs fear to act courageously. When I am afraid, I fail to accept that I don’t know the unknown. I fear for my safety because I put my safety in jeopardy. I am fearful of quitting my job and doing what I love because I am afraid of failure and its outcome. What is the opposite of acceptance? Resistance. I am afraid when I resist.
As soon as I feel a tinge of resistance, I tend to return to the place where I feel safer. That feeling in my chest that tells me “No” is actively resisting what’s before me because I am afraid of its consequences. Some would say that fear is a positive thing because it actively keeps me safe. Yet it has a negative side in which fear slowly kills me because it restrains me from meeting my full potential. And so, I hide instead of trying to understand the resistance. I treat it as truth without being interested in the context of why I feel the way I do.
I can see the different forms of resistance throughout life. When the status quo gets challenged, the first thing that occurs is resistance. If a person decides they want to change their body, marry unconventionally (whatever that means), or decide to express themselves in a way that is different than the norm, my first inclination is to say, “Hey! That’s not right!” I resist. Then I go on Twitter to confirm that others are resisting with me. The truth is, I’m afraid, and it’s much easier to resist than to try to understand why people want to dissent from the norm.
When you choose to step out and do something that you have never done before, expect fear to show up because it will. It is natural to feel an internal resistance because your mind tells you to run to safety.
I try to control the unknown and resist any kind of change. A person who uses manipulation and coercion to control a group of people is probably the most afraid. The person who tries to use force for others to comply is scared. I like to portray them as strong individuals who have everything in order, but if I had x-ray vision, I’d be able to see their anxiety. True courage is respecting one’s autonomy and free will, knowing that there’s fear behind not being in control but the willingness to grant freedom anyway. This is the pillar of great parenting. I know that everything’s changed, yet I don’t know the future. It’s okay to be afraid, yet I must be willing to let it happen. Always hoping for the best.
Instead of trying to fight the inevitability of change, I can collaborate with it. I can co-create the future by relating to the unknown when it becomes known. If I see change coming my way, I can resist, but that resistance is only going to bring more harm than the change. Try going to the beach and push the waves so that they don’t reach me. Try swimming opposite of the current. With these analogies, I hope to show that I only see a struggle in my future if I resist it. All for the false sense of certainty. Instead of fighting against the current, why not try to understand and learn how my values integrate with what’s coming forth? Fear isn’t the entire issue I have to work through. It’s the resistance to this fear.
Questions and Responses
How do we know when we’re afraid?
We often know we’re afraid when we feel a sense of resistance—a hesitation or that feeling in our chest that says “no.” This emotional resistance to change usually means we’re afraid of the unknown, or we’re worried about the possible outcomes. Whether it’s a fear of failure or fear of losing control, it’s the fear of the unknown that drives us to resist.
Why do we resist when we’re afraid?
Resistance is a natural reaction to fear, especially when we face something unfamiliar. We resist because we want to stay safe, and fear of failure makes us hesitant to step into new territory. It’s easier to stay where we feel secure than to embrace personal growth through fear or try something that might challenge us.
Is fear always a bad thing?
Not always. Fear has a protective side—it helps us stay safe by warning us of danger. But there’s also a downside to fear and resistance. When we let fear of change hold us back, we miss out on growth opportunities. In this way, fear of the unknown can keep us from reaching our full potential.
How does resistance show up in everyday life?
We see resistance to change everywhere. It’s that knee-jerk reaction when something challenges the norm—like when people decide to live differently or express themselves in unconventional ways. We resist these changes because deep down, we’re afraid of what they mean for us. It’s part of the psychology of fear—it feels easier to resist than to try and understand why someone’s choosing a different path.
Why do people in control often seem fearful?
People who try to control others through manipulation or force are often driven by fear of losing control. Even though they might seem powerful, they’re really afraid of uncertainty. Fear of the unknown makes them resist any kind of change, and that’s why they try to maintain control at all costs. True courage in uncertainty means accepting that we can’t control everything and still respecting others’ autonomy.
What’s the connection between fear and courage?
Courage and fear are deeply connected. Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s about recognizing that fear exists and still moving forward. Real courage means facing the fear of failure or the unknown, rather than resisting it. Without fear, we wouldn’t need courage—so they go hand in hand.
Why is resisting change harmful?
When we resist change, we’re only making things harder for ourselves. Just like trying to swim against a strong current or pushback ocean waves, resisting change creates unnecessary struggle. By accepting change and overcoming fear, we can actually find new opportunities for personal growth and move forward with less stress.
How can we work with fear instead of resisting it?
To overcome fear and resistance, we need to acknowledge that it’s okay to be afraid. Instead of fighting the fear, try to understand where it’s coming from. By accepting fear and learning from it, we can align our values with what’s ahead and make room for growth and fear to coexist. It’s not about eliminating fear, but about learning to work through it.
What’s the opposite of acceptance, and how does it relate to fear?
The opposite of acceptance is resistance. When we resist, it’s usually because we’re afraid—afraid of change, afraid of failure, or afraid of losing control. This resistance to fear keeps us stuck and prevents us from moving forward. By learning to accept fear as a natural part of life, we can break free from that emotional resistance and open ourselves to new possibilities.
How can we embrace change rather than resist it?
Embracing change means letting go of our resistance to fear and working with the unknown rather than against it. Instead of fighting the inevitable, try to see how your values can adapt and grow with the change. By accepting that fear is a part of life, and collaborating with change rather than resisting it, we can turn fear into a tool for personal growth and self-acceptance.