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I Only Have One Goal. That Goal is Peace
If I have one goal in life, let it be peace. In everything I do, I make sure that peace is a byproduct for me and the people I interact with. I must recognize when peace is diminished to ensure peace and greet peace with the sun’s rising. Peace is gone when there are power dynamics. There is no peace when a person believes they are separate from me, thus believing one has power over the other. I’ve never had peace when a manager felt they could tell me what to do. I never really felt peace when my parents did the same thing. No one wants to do anything out of obligation. I find true peace when I gift our actions and intentions to others. There is no peace in separation. Separation only brings exploitation and power struggles. To remedy this, I must realize that we are all one.
Where Does Peace Come From?
Peace comes from win-win situations. This is the definition of justice. No one should ever feel like they are sacrificing in a relationship. Most people start a relationship with what they want from it. Conflict begins when I am selfish from the outset. It’s wild because the other person is doing the exact thing while thinking about how this relationship will benefit me. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. Yet, it’s counter-culture to the competitive idea of “winning.”
Peace in a relationship is characterized by a sense of comfort, trust, and emotional safety. It means that you can be your authentic self without fear of judgment or rejection.
When I was interviewing for the director position I received, the owner only saw me as a tool he could use. I didn’t recognize that until hours of reflection on the process after I had left. He only asked me questions about the skills and experience I had. These are all typical questions when it comes to interviews. However, I found it weird that he asked the same questions when I had my second interview with him. I don’t think he truly wanted to get to know me. He wanted to gain my experience for his company and lured me in with a title and a salary.
Transactional Relationships
It’s not his fault because, on the other end of things, I was looking for nothing more than that. One would call that a win-win, but neither of us cared about the needs of each other. I didn’t care enough about my needs to see the warning flags. When I dive into any relationship, it’s tough to trust and be vulnerable to communicate our needs. People will ultimately see others as disposable once they get what they seek.
Being in a relationship is hard when I don’t prioritize myself. If someone doesn’t advocate for me, who will? When I get into a relationship, let’s shift my focus from this question and ask what I can do with the other person that brings mutual benefit. The perfect anecdote here might be dating. Many people my age say they are tired of playing games or don’t want their time wasted. What does that mean? It means that they want a mutually beneficial relationship. Time is wasted when a person gets what they want but leaves their partner yearning for something they asked for. A one-night stand wastes time for the person who was promised a relationship. This type of betrayal only breeds mistrust.
Teamwork
Teamwork only happens when everyone in the team pushes towards an agreed-upon, singular goal. The players on your favorite sports team benefit from each other because they all have the same goal of winning the game. I have worked in departments where there are multiple goals. If I needed someone else to do something that didn’t fit their goals, the usual thing is to not do it. Why would they? The work doesn’t benefit their goals. Using multiple goals for different teammates separates the team, which no longer means they are a team. When I move towards my north star, I freely give my effort and expertise because each step brings me closer to what I want to achieve. It’s probably impossible, but I wish that goal was always peace.
Win-Win Relationships
There are many ways to create and maintain win-win relationships with everyone. First, I need to be selfless. I talked about this when defining love. That part should be easy. The next thing to do is be an active listener. I can’t know the other person’s needs if I’m not listening to them. When I’m listening, I’m finding things that will be mutually beneficial for all that is involved. Once I find these mutual benefit points, I do them without keeping the score.
There can be no peace without equity. I want to create win-win relationships with everyone, but that doesn’t mean equality. Equality infers that everyone gets the same thing, but not everyone needs the same things. It’s important to treat individuals as individuals to learn their specific needs. By doing this, I believe everything I have and need is abundant. There’s no need to be selfish with my love, joy, and peace because all will return to me. By creating these win-win relationships, I hope to better connect with everyone I come across. I want to connect better with our classmates and those I work with. I can even connect better with the person I try not to look at in the elevator. This principle allows me to create genuine relationships and find peace by linking. Finding peace when being alone is easy, but I need people. I will have peace if I can create genuine relationships with the people I need.
Questions and Responses
How can we make peace our main goal in life?
Making peace your main goal in life means approaching every interaction and decision to create harmony—for yourself and for those around you. It’s about recognizing when power dynamics, competition, or selfish motives disrupt peace and working to restore balance. Whether it’s in personal relationships, at work, or in everyday encounters, peace should be the byproduct of your actions. True peace comes from seeing yourself as connected to others, rather than separate or above them, and seeking solutions that benefit everyone involved.
Where does peace really come from?
Peace comes from win-win situations where everyone feels valued and no one has to sacrifice their needs. In relationships, whether personal or professional, peace thrives when we approach interactions with empathy and selflessness. Instead of entering situations focused on what you can get, think about how both sides can benefit. This shift in mindset leads to more genuine connections and minimizes conflict. The key is cooperation over competition—seeking justice and balance, where everyone walks away feeling seen, heard, and respected.
What are the dangers of power dynamics in relationships?
Power dynamics in relationships—where one person feels superior or believes they can control the other—destroy peace. Whether it’s a boss telling you what to do without considering your needs, or a relationship where one person’s desires always come first, these imbalances lead to exploitation and resentment. Real peace comes when we treat each other as equals and focus on mutual respect. Instead of power struggles, we should aim to create environments where everyone’s voice matters and no one feels obligated or coerced.
How can we create win-win relationships in life?
Creating win-win relationships starts with selflessness and active listening. You need to focus on what the other person needs, rather than just what benefits you. By listening carefully, you can identify opportunities for mutual benefit. Once you understand the needs of others, make sure your actions and intentions align with those needs. It’s important not to keep score—give freely, trusting that kindness, respect, and peace will come back to you. Win-win relationships are built on equity, meaning that each person gets what they truly need, even if it’s not the same for everyone.
What’s the difference between equality and equity, and why does it matter in relationships?
Equality means giving everyone the same thing, while equity means giving people what they need to thrive. In relationships, equity is crucial because everyone has different needs, desires, and circumstances. Treating people equitably creates a foundation for peace because it shows you understand and respect their unique situation. It’s about creating balance, not fairness in a one-size-fits-all way. Peace in relationships flourishes when we ensure that everyone’s needs are met, even if the way we meet those needs differs from person to person.
What is a transactional relationship, and why doesn’t it lead to peace?
A transactional relationship is one where each person is focused on getting something for themselves, rather than fostering a genuine connection. In these relationships, people may exchange favors or services, but they aren’t truly invested in the well-being of the other person. This lack of empathy and trust creates instability and prevents real peace. For example, if you enter a relationship or a job only looking for what you can get out of it, you’ll miss the opportunity to build something deeper and more meaningful, leaving both sides feeling unfulfilled.
How do we approach teamwork in a way that creates peace?
Teamwork that fosters peace happens when everyone is working toward the same goal and supporting each other along the way. If individuals on a team are focused on their own agendas or goals, collaboration breaks down, and conflict arises. To create peace, teams must share a common purpose, and each member should feel that their contributions help the team as a whole. In this environment, people naturally offer their skills and efforts without worrying about who gets the credit. The focus is on collective success, not personal gain.
Why is selflessness important for finding peace in relationships?
Selflessness is key because it shifts the focus from “What can I get?” to “How can we both benefit?” When we approach relationships with a self-centered mindset, we create imbalances that lead to conflict, mistrust, and ultimately a lack of peace. By being selfless, we open ourselves up to listening, understanding, and giving to others without expectation. This creates a foundation of mutual respect and trust, where both parties feel valued. True peace emerges when relationships are built on giving rather than taking.
Can peace truly exist in a competitive world?
Peace can exist in a competitive world, but it requires a change in how we approach competition. Instead of thinking in terms of winners and losers, we need to look for ways where everyone can benefit—where success isn’t built on someone else’s failure. In work, relationships, and life, peace is possible when we prioritize collaboration over competition and see others as partners rather than rivals. The more we work toward shared goals and mutual benefit, the more peace we create in a world that often glorifies conflict.
How can we maintain peace in our everyday interactions with others?
Maintaining peace in everyday interactions starts with empathy and mindfulness. Listen actively to others, seek to understand their needs, and approach situations to find a mutually beneficial outcome. Small acts of kindness, patience, and understanding go a long way in creating peaceful exchanges. Even in moments of disagreement or conflict, aim to respond with calmness and a focus on resolution rather than winning. By prioritizing connection over confrontation, you can bring more peace into your interactions and foster deeper, more meaningful relationships.