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How to Live a More Carefree Life
I think one of the biggest reasons why we suffer so much is because we care too much. We care about what people have to say about us, we care about who we are in comparison to other people, and we care so much about how our actions and speech are perceived in the eyes of judgment. It’s wild that we care so deeply about the perceptions we can’t be controlled. It really doesn’t matter what we do… we will be judged. As a result, we become shy, people pleasers trying to get others to like us. This certainly was me with shells that I’m still working to break. It’s just so much easier to not care.
When we stop caring about the judgment of others, there’s no need to suffer. There’s no need to put our value in effort, or other material things that mean nothing. Let’s be real. If we could live in a small, quaint house with only the things we need knowing that we’d be unconditionally loved by every person we’d meet, we’d totally do it. There would be no need for fancy cars, fancy clothes, mansions, or anything else we only buy to impress others. In the same way, we only work hard and accomplish goals to prove to others that we are worth something. If we knew people would love us unconditionally, we’d all be lazy. You think you are accomplishing goals for yourself, but really ask yourself why.
I’ve found it easier to get rid of things than accumulate them. I like the ease of not caring. I can equally buy something without caring about the price and give away something without worrying about how much I paid for it. It’s quite liberating. I don’t really have to think about whether someone approves of anything that I do as long as I am holding on to my values. As long as love, peace, happiness, and joy are within me, nothing else on the outside really matters. This allows me to not suffer as much as I used to.
A Learned Behavior
I, much like most children, started life as careless. This is how I know caring about things is a learned behavior. A baby doesn’t care about how you feel when they spit up on you. They’ll smile at you and you have no choice, but to smile back. This way of being gets driven out of us the older we get. I was pretty carefree until I received my first full-time job. From that point, there was this overwhelming need to prove myself. I’ve seen the pattern with most newcomers who are just entering the job market. We find ourselves trying to prove that we belong with the work that we do. I’m now more than eight years deep in working in my industry and I can tell you quite comfortably that I just don’t care.
You too can learn how to care less about what other people think. A good place would be where I started my self-help journey with The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. It’s a great book that helps you free yourself from the pressures of caring way too much about survival. How liberating would it be to just be your unfiltered, unapologetic self? Am I condoning that intentionally hurt people? Not at all. What I am saying is that we shouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves even if that means being perceived unfavorably by someone else. The perception of other people does not change your value.
Perfectionism Comes from Judgment
Instead of being a perfectionist while showing your worth through your work, be silly. That’s your natural self. Go to the point where you embarrass yourself and the only thing you can do is laugh. You don’t have to be buttoned up all the time. It shows a lack of vulnerability and shuts the diversity of human beings into the personalities of robots.
They say in order to be good at public speaking, picture everyone naked. How about instead you picture yourself naked and still speaking regardless? I’m sure you’ll have a better presentation. You’re not just projecting your fear onto other people for a finite amount of time, but confronting your fear by making yourself even more vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to be dumb. Ask the stupid question if you really want the answer. If you’re trying to be perfect, you aren’t being perfect. Perfection is an identity, not a judgment based on your or others’ viewpoints.
Another practice that has me caring less about just about anything is my willingness to do things on my own. I’m very much comfortable going to dinner or the movies on my own. I don’t know a lot of people who can say this. When I say this to friends, I’m usually made fun of but guess what, I could care less.
I’m not doing things because my friends want to do them and I don’t need friends to do what I want to do. The connection that you have with friends is a wonderful thing, but if friends are disappointed when you don’t agree to plans, or vice versa, the inclination is to give in to doing what your friends want to do. There can be days when you do something different and that’s totally fine. Read your book instead of going to the club. Take that nap. Go on an adventure without making any plans and just enjoy being.
Questions and Responses
Why is caring less about what people think so important for our happiness?
Caring less about what people think frees us from the constant need for approval and validation. So much of our suffering comes from worrying about how others perceive us, whether it’s our appearance, our achievements, or even how we act in social situations. When we stop caring about these external judgments, we start living more authentically, doing things because they matter to us—not because we want to impress others. This brings a sense of liberation and inner peace because we’re no longer chasing validation that we can’t control.
Isn’t not caring about others’ opinions selfish or careless?
Not at all! It’s about finding balance. Caring less doesn’t mean you disregard others’ feelings or act recklessly. It means you stop letting other people’s judgments control your happiness and self-worth. We can still be compassionate and thoughtful while staying true to who we are. The goal is to live authentically without being burdened by the constant worry of how others perceive us. When we’re not obsessed with pleasing everyone, we’re actually more present and grounded in our interactions with others.
How do you stop caring so much about how you’re perceived?
It starts with self-awareness and recognizing when you’re trying too hard to seek approval. One of the best ways to start is by shifting your mindset—realizing that no matter what you do, you’ll be judged. You can’t control what others think. So why waste energy trying? Books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson can be a great resource for learning how to let go of unnecessary worries. It’s about focusing on your own values and acting in ways that align with them, instead of constantly looking for validation.
Why do we compare ourselves to others, and how can we stop?
Comparison often stems from insecurity and the belief that our worth is tied to how we measure up against others. We see someone else’s success, lifestyle, or appearance and think it makes us less valuable. But the reality is, that comparison is a trap. There will always be someone who appears to have more, and that cycle never ends. To break free, focus on your own journey and stop placing your value in external markers like status, possessions, or achievements. You are enough as you are, without needing to compete.
How can letting go of perfectionism improve our quality of life?
Letting go of perfectionism opens up space for joy, creativity, and self-compassion. When we strive to be perfect, we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to live up to unrealistic standards—often based on fear of judgment. Instead of always trying to appear flawless, embrace your imperfections and even laugh at your mistakes. Being silly, playful, and vulnerable not only makes life more enjoyable, but it also helps others relate to you on a more authentic level. Perfectionism is exhausting, and letting it go makes life much lighter.
How can we embrace doing things alone without feeling awkward or judged?
Doing things alone—whether it’s going to a movie or having dinner—can feel awkward at first because we’ve been conditioned to think we always need company. But learning to enjoy your own company is incredibly empowering. Start small, like taking yourself out for coffee or reading at a park. Over time, you’ll become more comfortable doing things solo, and the judgment of others will matter less. You’ll realize that being independent and self-reliant is liberating and that your happiness doesn’t depend on having someone else by your side.
Is it true that we work hard mostly to prove our worth to others?
In many cases, yes. A lot of the goals we set—whether it’s buying a bigger house, getting a promotion, or achieving social status—are tied to wanting approval or admiration from others. If we knew people loved us unconditionally, we might not feel the need to constantly “prove” ourselves. When you stop caring so much about what others think, you start working hard for yourself—because it brings you fulfillment and aligns with your personal values, not because you want to impress others.
How does caring less reduce suffering?
When we care less about external validation, we stop giving our energy to things that don’t serve us. We let go of the need to be liked by everyone, stop obsessing over how we’re perceived, and stop placing our value in things that can change, like status or material possessions. This reduces stress and anxiety, allowing us to focus on what truly matters to us—like our personal growth, happiness, and relationships. Ultimately, caring less helps us find peace in who we are, not in what others think of us.
Why do we care more as we get older, and how can we unlearn this?
Caring more as we age often stems from societal expectations and the pressures of adulthood. We start caring about how we’re seen at work, by our peers, and in our personal lives because we’re taught that success is measured by how others perceive us. But we can unlearn this by reconnecting with our inner values and focusing on what really matters to us, rather than chasing societal standards of success. By doing things that make us happy, rather than what we think will make others approve of us, we can begin to unlearn the habit of over-caring.
How do I stay true to myself when others expect me to conform?
Staying true to yourself means prioritizing your values, passions, and inner peace over external expectations. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with who you are, even if it disappoints others. You don’t have to explain your decisions to everyone. Practicing self-awareness and confidence helps you stay grounded in your choices, and over time, others will respect you for being authentic. It’s not about rejecting connection, but about ensuring that your connections are built on respect for who you truly are, not who you’re trying to be.