There are always going to be manipulative and narcissistic people out there. The point of this post is to make sure that you are not a victim. The only person you can blame is yourself because if you have no standards, then you have no self worth. It brings us to the situation of what love means. I’ll say unconditional love because we believe that in order to love unconditionally, well… we can’t have conditions. It’s to say that I will love you no matter what. This implies that you’ll love someone even if their actions are unhealthy or abusive. What if I were to tell you that love was a boundary.
I say this because setting a boundary is the most loving thing you can do with another person. When one sets a boundary, they are not saying that they don’t love you. They are saying that they love you, but they also love themselves. The other person can disagree with the notion. That’s totally fine. The person who has the standard is willing to wait and find the person who is more compatible.
If you feel like you have to feel small to fit in, it’s definitely a red flag. I have notions like that all the time. I feel like I have to diminish my character to fit in, but as I grow older I’m ready to shed that part of me. Even if that comes with consequences. Sometimes I question the consequences. Guilt is a natural occurrence when boundaries are placed. That same guilt is used to manipulate people to not have them in the first place. For whatever reason, we are made to believe that we were built to please. I do believe that we should be courteous and nice towards each other, but not at the expense of our own happiness.